Sunday Sundries: I Heart Yorkshire

Yes indeed, Yorkshire was my mystery destination from last week's Sunday Sundries (which you'd know if you followed me on twitter. Hey, why not do that?), specifically Oxenhope, which is basically right next to Haworth which, I'm sure you know, is where the Brontes lived! Clearly my sister knows the things I like, cause she's the awesomest (until we have an argument, that is, and then she won't be. You know, siblings!) But Haworth! It was amazing! And so pretty! And obviously warrants it's own special post about a literary landmark, so I'll save the story until I can be bothered to write that, and leave you for now with the creepiest statue in the world:

That was just the first day, and then on the second day we went to York and it's a pretty nice city, plus it has York Minster and, you probably don't know this about me, but I'm a real sucker for Cathedrals and shit. Not God or any of that, but the buildings themselves? Amazing. So there was that, PLUS this chocolate tour thing because York was the home of Rowntrees (who originally made Kit Kats and Smarties and Fruit Pastilles and all) as well as Terry's (of the chocolate orange) and that was pretty awesome too- I learnt how to taste chocolate properly and everything, so now I consider myself an expert. Oh, and obviously it rained loads too, because I was in Yorkshire for goodness sakes!

Interestingly, York also seems to have been a breeding ground for criminals and apparently a good place for their final burials. Guy Fawkes was born there, and I wouldn't have brought this whole thing up if I hadn't gone on the bus tour of York that basically only gave information like 'This is where Dick Turpin was buried, and this is where he was hanged. Public executions used to take place over there' and so on. I found all of this mightily disturbing, of course, especially after all the lovely chocolate mere minutes before! Bad bus tour.

Then we just had a morning left in Yorkshire, and so we went tramping around the moors which was EXCELLENT and also TIRING (those hills are STEEP!) and so beautiful that I could actually just cry thinking about them now.  Honestly, I can't even overstate how amazing the moors are- it's like every direction you turn, the scenery is even more beautiful. And it's actually really difficult to get a good picture of how lovely it is to be there, because each picture is just one side of your experience, whereas the moors are ALL AROUND. It's amazing. And makes me just want to read all the Brontes books all the time.

And what this all means, now, is that I have to stop making fun of the North, and of Yorkshire, and that's going to be REALLY difficult for me because I've been doing it forever. But NO MORE, I say! Because seriously, I love Yorkshire so much! 

Inevitably, though, we had to come home, and I haven't really done anything since then except mope around because I don't live in an area of stunning natural beauty and because I miss Yorkshire. Which I'm going to have to get over because I definitely can't move there, and definitely not right now, but still... Yorkshire, you have my heart right now. Having said that, I did buy some pretty awesome boots on Friday, and baked muffins on Saturday, so maybe here isn't quite so bad after all. Maybe.

Book-wise, I'm in that awkward place where I'm between books (I've finished The Moonstone and it's BRILL- so excited to discuss it on Wednesday!) and I haven't quiite decided what to read next. Foolishly yesterday I got about 50 pages into Dolores Clairborne, but I got to a good stopping place (it's basically a giant monologue with no chapters, FUCK YOU KING) and so stopped, but when I wanted to read some more I picked up Crime and Punishment instead, so now I'm a chapter into that. And like 3 other books as well. BASICALLY I'm having an attack of ADHD, or, you know, inability to just pick one fucking book. It's like a disease.

That was also my way of telling you that I have no content! None! Apart from a review of Let's Pretend This Never Happened that I haven't written yet, and also one for this documentary that made me cry a bit. But other than that, nothing! This is you chance to tell me that you miss me posting every day... Guys? Guys? Hmmm... I'll remember this...

Devouring Books: Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

"He trembled with the desire to conquer and subdue. It was like the desire for women."

I bought Things Fall Apart a long time ago (this falls into the category of things I say all the time, but hey, at least I'm reading them!) but I distinctly remember that I bought it based purely on the fact that I liked the title. It's to the point and pretty clear, and I just liked it. Which is obviously why I let it languish on my shelves for years and years, and basically didn't consider reading it ever in that time. I'm smart like that.

So, I finally read it thanks to the Back To The Classics Challenge! *Waits for applause, awkwardly moves on when there is none when there is none because the internet doesn't really work that way* And... Well. It didn't exactly set my world on fire, but I did like it. Above all I liked that it was equally fair, or equally unfair to everyone, but I had some issues with not being massively interested in any of the characters or anything that was going on. Allow me to elaborate.

The basic story of Things Fall Apart is that of Okonkwo, a well respected member of an African tribe, who also happens to beat his wives and has an overall lack of respect for women. Like everyone in the book. Including the women. Which doesn't really have that much to do with the plot, so I'll move on from it. FOR A MINUTE. So, things happen, and then Okokwo gets exiled, and then, when he returns things fall apart. Which is really bad, obviously. (This is basically a plot outline for the whole book, which you might consider a spoiler, but I do not because it was all in the blurb on my copy. And it's not really a book that you can spoil like this, in my opinion.)

What I really liked about this book was the way that no one, and no one's way of life was seen as wholly good or wholly bad. Honestly, I was expecting it to be like 'the evil white men came and killed people and forced their views on the rest' (and I wouldn't have been wholly opposed to that view) but it was definitely a lot more balanced than that. Which was good, because I was decidedly uncomfortable about the amount of violence, and the treatment of women in the tribe culture, but I also felt uncomfortable like denouncing it in my brain because it's like being a colonial overlord and forcing my culture on another, you know? But it was ok, because the book was critical of this, so I could be too. There's no idealism about the tribe way of life, and nothing to suggest that it's a perfect culture that is irreplaceable. And nor is the new one.

So all of that was good. Especially not feeling like a colonial overlord, because that is something that I just HATE! But. I feel like this book is basically all symbols and colonialism and tradition vs new ideas, and while it's all very interesting and if I'd read it for some kind of official purpose (you know, school and stuff) I'd have had loads to say about it and been really impressed. And I am still impressed, but also... I'm not at school anymore. And being kept at an arms length from the characters, and having only the bare bones of a plot for the sake of many many symbolic things is not something that necessarily floats my boat in an 'inspiring deep love for a book' kind of way. Impressive? Sure. Love? Not so much.

On the whole, though, I'm definitely glad I read this because, like I say, it's very interesting and symbolic and all, but also I don't feel any great urge to read it again. It is, however, a relatively quick read, and feels quite enriching compared to the amount of effort you have to put into it. So, on a cost-profit analysis (is that even a thing?!) it's definitely worth a read.

The Moonstone Part 3

OH MY GOD, the end of this section!! Rachel SAW Franklin doing it, but he has no memory of it?! I'm thinking secret twins or doppelgangers or intense plastic surgery... You know, all the normal things. And also, I've been doing this a lot, of course:

Just to back up a teeny bit though, I've come to the reluctant conclusion that Rosanna might ACTUALLY be dead, and, well, I'm pretty sad about it, actually. It seems to me that Rosanna is The Moonstone's Anne Catherick (or Anne is The Woman in White's Rosanna... Which was published first again?) in that their deaths came with little fanfare and no one was that bothered about them. Still, Rosanna had Betteredge to cry for her, and Anne had her companion lady, so... There's that at least. But also I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S ACTUALLY DEAD! What the hell, Wilkie? I did so love her little unrequited love thing for Franklin though, and also the fact that Penelope was right about this as she has seemed to be about everything. Could PENELOPE be the secret mastermind behind everything? I think yes.

And now to go back even further, how awesome was the rest of Clack's section? Last week, Alice and I decided that Clack kissing Godfrey's hand was her first and only sexual experience, and I think in this part she had her second:

"I have an indistinct remembrance that he was very affectionate. I don't think he put his arm around my waist to support me- but I am not sure. I was quite helpless, and his ways with ladies were very endearing."

I mean, OBViously Clack is desperately in love with him, but did anyone else pick up on the bit where she said that she forgives him and still loves him or whatever it was? Is he dead, or does he have a secret Franklin mask, and so took the moonstone? (I don't really think he took it. BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW!)

I think Clack's fall from grace was perfect though, because as it turns out, telling your patroness that you tried to stress her mother out just before she died? Probably not the best idea. Sad as I am to see her go, she did leave us with some more wonderful wonderful things to remember her by, so we all know that she's very very ill-used and underappreciated. And also a terrible person: "In those words the invitation was given, and the glorious prospect of interference was opened before me."

I don't really have much to say about the lawyer section, other than that I like him because he dislikes Godfrey (and I feel exactly the same way about Mr Murthwaite now) but also, how lowwww is Godfrey?! 'Oh please marry me dear Rachel because I need all your money' but hey, nice work Lady V in making sure no evil man could take all her money. I think that's what happened, right? Oh yeah, and there was also the thing with the Indians, which excites me not all that much because they clearly didn't take it, and clearly still want it, and frankly I think they should have it because it really belongs to them, so... Yeah.

But anyway. What do we think about Franklin?! If he did it then he's clearly hiding it, even from himself, and definitely from the reader. I enjoy the fact that Betteredge got to be a detective again, and frankly, if he's the one to solve the whole thing, I'd be really happy. Is Rachel maybe lying about seeing Franklin because she actually took it? I don't think she is, because all her actions suggest that that's what she really believes. So maybe she was just dreaming? I JUST DON'T KNOW. I'm like this:

And also, I am DYING to find out. I'm so happy that this week's is the last section (except, only one more readalong week, SADFACE) because I need to know or I am going to EXPLODE. Not even an exaggeration.

Sunday Sundries: Surprises and Day Trips

So this week was kind of awesome- I had two day trips, one just to Windsor (I say just cause it's really near me) to hang out with my friend Justine, with whom I found a pub that makes what look like the greatest sandwiches in the world, only we'd already eaten at lunchtime, and so basically it's really important that we go back there. I mean, imperative. So that was awesome, and then I also went to the beach with my friend Becci and her friend Ed and that was also all the greatness, even if it was sort of cold and windy (and then yesterday? Like, 85 degrees Fahrenheit. What the hell?) AND there were gross crabbing incidents, crabbing being intrinsically gross. But still... Much fun was had all round!

So, a good week! Admittedly I did have to go to the hospital on Friday with my mum and wait for TWO HOURS for a ten minute appointment that didn't really tell us anything we didn't know, which did suck a lot, but then I got to hold a baby for a while, so... That sort of evened things out a bit. And maybe most interestingly, or at least relevently to this blog, I GOT RID OF SOME BOOKS! Ok, technically they're still outside my bedroom door cause no one has taken them to a charity shop yet, but I got rid of probably 25 or so books? Which isn't really as many as I should get rid of, but it's a step in the right direction, right? Right. I was pretty proud of myself anyway, and I did that on Monday, so even if the rest of the week had been a write-off, I would have still done that! Except the rest of the week turned out to be awesome, so... Yay all round!

I realise I'm being totally chipper, but don't tell me so and bring me down, man. I like the chipper! And I'm not expecting it to retreat until at least Wednesday, because I'm going away... somewhere from Monday to Wednesday. And I don't know where, so don't even ask me, cause my sister's taking me and it's a big ole secret which is actually more exciting and less annoying than I thought such a thing would be! So... I have no real information about it for you, but it's what I'm going to be doing for the first part of this week so I just thought I'd inform you. It might not even affect posting on here if I can get some posts written today (mutters something about packing and then gives up on computer things) but still... I like to let you know these things.

And I think that's about all I have for you this week, folks! Short-ish and sweet, that's how I like to keep things (err, never. Except when I have to pack and things...) I hope all of your weeks were lovely, and hey, tell me about them in the comments, yeah? 

Devouring Stephen King: Gerald's Game

"Nothing she had ever seen on Firing Line or read in the Reader's Digest had prepared her for what she had just done."

As far as I can remember, Gerald's Game is has the first sole female heroine of any of King's books since Carrie. I mean... OK, maybe Cujo a tiny bit, and Needful Things had a sort of joint man-and-lady hero thing going on, but on the whole, I think this is true. Which is, you know, pleasing to me because, yay ladies- King doesn't exactly forget to include the ladies, but they tend to be wives or mothers, one of which is true of our heroine, but she's also a bit of a change from the norm.

Except where she isn't. Ok, so Jessie is 'Gerald's wife' (and note that even the title is about him, not her) and she finds herself in a slightly sticky (ewww...) situation when Gerald has a heart attack in the middle of some kinky sex that sees her tied to the headboard of their bed in a cabin in the middle of the woods. On a weekday. So the rest of the book just basically happens in Jessie's head, which is interesting because she's ever-so-slightly schizophrenic, and the voices in her head make her face up to one basic thing in her life, the one thing that haunts her and holds her back and all those other bad things.

Sounds intriguing, right? Well, it is and it isn't, in that what 'the event' actually was is a thing that annoys me ever so much about Stephen King whenever he does things like this. Ok, so the deal with Jessie is that when she was 10 she was sexually molested (I hope this isn't a spoiler- I got it really really early on, but then I read A LOT of Virginia Andrews books when I was young, so...). Which in itself is not the issue, because it obviously fits well with the situation she's in (sexual vulnerability and everything) BUT OMG King does this all the time. I mean, not so much with the molestation, but with the 'if a woman has a problem, it has to do with her lady parts' thing and it annoys me ever so much.

Seriously- there's Carrie's powers evolving once she starts her period, Bobbi's crazy periods once she gets near the spaceship in The Tommyknockers, Frannie being all pregnant (and thus useless) in The Stand... The amount of times King has done this is actually quite staggering, and it bugs the crap out of me! Does he do this to his male characters? Do his male characters have issues because of their penises? Nope, they are just people, who get into weird situations with various creatures. But the girls? Their sexuality can lead them out of the sewers, and if weird shit's happening, they're probably menstruating. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING- I just want to shake him and go 'STOP DOING THAT TO THE WOMEN!' 

But. This is a long standing issue I have with him (and, to be fair, I don't massively have a problem with his women characters beyond this- often they're very well fleshed out, and definitely better than a lot of male writers would bother to do, so...) and I feel like it's unfair of me to take it out on this book, which was actually pretty good. It's really suspenseful (will Jessie be able to escape?) and gross (not elaborating on that one, but seriously... Gross) AND just when you think he's given in and gone for the supernatural element, BANG he does a swift u-turn, and bucks his own conventions. Well, one of them, anyway. Because of this, I'd like to conjecture that this would have actually been a Bachman book, if 'Bachman' hadn't been outed, but that's not massively important. UNLESS I'm the first person to have ever said that, and Stephen King would agree with me, and then I win everything. 

I realise that this 'review' is really just a big moan about Stephen King, but rest assured I still love him, I just don't love the reducing females to their female parts thing that he very often does. Gerald's Game is still a good read, and pretty tense and upsetting to boot. I bet you've been reading this and thinking of Misery (the masses: nope, not at all) but it's not anywhere near as good as Misery. But since that was AWESOME, this is still good. Give it a try.

The Moonstone, Part 2: Satan among the Sofa Cushions

Oh, Miss Clack. What a gem (and by gem, I obviously mean twat). I found her so ridiculously hilarious that I laughed so much I gave myself a coughing fit- and a really odd and random coughing fit because I don't even have a cold or anything. By jove, Wilkie, I can't believe you've written a character maybe even funnier than Mr Fairlie (maybe. He was pretty hilarious.) But oh, miss Clack and her tracts... I'm fairly convinced they're what did Lady V in (LADY V! Betteredge must be so so sad...) but I wouldn't have been without them- Satan among the Sofa cushions is my personal favourite, but of course we shouldn't forget about Satan under the Tea Table, or Satan behind the Looking Glass...

ANYWAY, going backwards slightly, can we please talk about the fact that I'm not entirely sure that Rosanna is dead? I mean, she might be, but also there's absolutely no evidence that she actually is, so I'm very very suspicious about that whole thing. Also I'm now suspicious of Ezra Jennings, Dr Candy's assistant:

"His assistant- a certain Mr Ezra Jennings- was at our disposal, to be sure. But nobody knew much about him in our parts. He had been engaged by Mr Candy under rather peculiar circumstances; and, right or wrong, we none of us liked him or trusted him."

You see?! I'm sure he'll never be mentioned again, now, but still, I remain suspicious of him. AND EVERYONE.

And then also still in Betteredge's section, I felt totally vindicated cause in the comments of my post last week we were all having a discussion that Rachel had sold the moonstone so she could fund an abortion of... I'm gonna say Franklin's baby, and while that was not exactly proven to be the case (although it wasn't UNproven, so let's keep that in mind) Cuff did say this:

"Sometimes the money is wanted for purposes which I don't suspect in this case, and which I would shock you by mentioning." 

Which I totally read as funding really really illegal abortions, but which now that I think of it could basically be anything scandalous, like hiring a hitman or something. OMG did Rachel hire a hitman to take out her mum?! (No. In fact, I don't even believe that Rachel has it. No matter what Clack thinks.)

So, Betteredge's section was all fine and good, and ended with a fun little like 'I might not be a reliable narrator, so watch out!' thing, and since the next part was narrated by a woman, I was like 'ooh, maybe she's our Marian!' She is so not our Marian. Not in the slightest, but fortunately she is a lot more hilarious than her, only, you know, unintentionally. Also, she has a total ladyboner for Godfrey:
"It is in the completeness of his daily life that the true Christian appears. This dear man was very complete." Or:

Only, of course, shiiiit, Rachel and Godfrey just GOT ENGAGED FOR NO REASON, and I feel like there could be some bitter, very non-Christian jealousy emanating from Clack for the rest of the time she's with us. Or at least that she'll get even more hilarious, which I can deal with.

Speaking of Rachel, WHAT IS UP WITH HER?! She seems to basically have manic depression, and she was all like 'ooh, Godfrey got tied up, how exciting!' and then when she found out that it was over the moonstone, she was like 'oh the humanity, I must stop all this before anyone else gets hurt!' and I'm just like DUDE, what did you think it was going to be about? The trousers at that weird group Clack and Godfrey both belong to?! OBVIOUSLY HE WAS ALL BLINDFOLDED OVER THAT EXTREMELY PRECIOUS STONE THAT YOU FUCKING LOST! (Too many capitals? Maybe.) I sense her acceptance of his engagement is all about residual guilt over his ordeal. Just saying. NOT that I think she's got the moonstone, and in fact this is about as far as I've gotten trying to figure out what's actually going on:
Cuff thinks Rachel has sold the stone
Clack thinks Rachel has it cause she hates her
Rachel thinks Franklin has it for some reason
and the lawyer (who I think gets his own narrative later which is good cause he seems fun) thinks that Godfrey is most likely to have it.

So basically I have no idea what's going on, but does it really matter when there's CLACK?! I don't even care about the mystery anymore, I just want Clack to keep saying things and being a terrible person, and Christian ('I realised that she hadn't even given me my inheritance', 'I'm only doing this because Franklin Blake is paying me'- naughty materialistic lady!) And also I like not knowing things, because at the end of it all, I want to be like this:

I'm totally using this again. Just to warn you.

Addition: Did anyone else think that the girl who lived in the cottage by the sea was totally in love with Rosanna? Like, she was all 'we were going to go away together and live as sisters' but when they got there they would clearly be doing the lady love? Because... I totally thought that.

Devouring Books: The Invention of Solitude by Paul Auster

"He speaks of himself as another in order to tell the story of himself. He must make himself absent in order to find himself there."

I really love Paul Auster a lot, and I was excited (so excited it took me about a year and a half to get round to it... *sigh*) to read this, an autobiography of sorts. I say 'of sorts', because, of course, this is Paul Auster we're talking about, and when it comes to his style of writing, nothing is simple, and something as straightforward as autobiography becomes... well, a lot more complex than that.

Well, at least part of it is more complex. The first part, Portrait of an Invisible Man, is an attempt to come to terms with the death of his father, or, maybe more accurately, with his father's life- how he never really seemed to be there, and never really opened up to anybody, least of all his son. It's a really sad summation of a life, and it's sad that Auster never really knew his father- that he never opened up enough to catch a glimpse of the soul inside. Tied up with this portrait is a revelation that I shan't tell you about because it's probably the only thing in the book that really has a spoiler attached to it. But let's just say it's a really interesting thing to consider in regard to Auster Senior's psyche, and examining it as such is something which Auster does well.

So that's the first bit. And it's probably the most... Normal of all Auster's work. I don't even know if I mean that as an insult or not- it's an accessible bit of writing, and it's pretty interesting, but I guess it didn't really grab me? In the course of writing this, my research (ahem, Wikipedia) has told me that this was Auster's debut work (I think, apart from poems and translations, although this isn't on Wikipedia so what do I know?) so I guess it makes sense that he started off writing like a normal person and then found his own voice. Which, fortunately, he does in the very next section!

The second part is The Book of Memory, and it's a memoir of some thoughts and experiences and friends that Auster's had, only- and this is the kicker- it's written in the third person. And it's not written in the third person just for the sake of it (well, I like to think not anyway) but so that Auster can somehow step outside of himself to really, really take a look around him, and to consider his life from a different angle. And that angle is weird. Like... SO MUCH is discussed that I can't even list all the references he makes (also cause I can't remember them all) but he talks about Pinnochio and fathers and sons and the nature of memory and writing and truth and is your brain hurting yet, because mine kind of is.

And that's the thing about this second part- it's almost like Auster's overthinking everything SO MUCH that everything could mean everything or nothing. There were points when I was just like 'dude, you think waaaay too much' but I think really that was just me going 'my brain really hurts right now.' And so while the first part wasn't interesting enough to stimulate any brain things, the second part was maybe too interesting, and so it hurt my brain. What I'm thinking is, Auster seems to have found some magical combination of the two that has meant that basically everything else that he's written, I've loved. I liked this, but not as much, but if the process meant that he essentially found his voice (as I've apparently decided that's what it did)? Then I'm good with it.