"The only surviving woodcut shows that he had an exceptionally luxuriant beard."

When I signed up to the Harry Potter readalong of true awesomeness, I was expecting the usual- awesome discussions, arguments about various characters (*COUGH* Sirius *SPLUTTER* Snape), and mutual agreement that Luna and Neville are The Best. I've definitely gotten all of this and more, but the one thing I wasn't expecting was to get EXTRA HARRY POTTER- apart from, you know, the viewpoints of many people, I thought I pretty much knew what was what in the Potter-verse.

BUT. Clearly, I missed a crucial part of it.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard! This book is actually way better than I was expecting it to be, possibly because I didn't even know about Dumbledore's notes (GUYS! Dumbledore's notes!!) after each story, but mostly, I fear, because I'm an idiot. But anyway- the problem has been rectified now, thanks to Alice, and we can all rest easy now knowing that I have read Beedle the Bard.

I don't have a clue how to go about this post, but I'm just gonna take each story and say things about it (ok, I'm mainly going to say things about Dumbledore's notes. Yeah.)

The Wizard and the Hopping Pot
BE NICE TO PEOPLE is the clear message of this story, but also, you know, SHARE your skills if you can use them to help others, ok?

It IS nice to be exposed to stories that wizard children are told that teach them to be nice to muggles though, because sometimes it feels like the whole wizarding world kind of hates us, and that's just not cool.
ALSO, that witch who rewrote the stories in a GROSS way? Love her. Or, more specifically, this: "Mrs Bloxam's tale has met the same response from generations of wizarding children: uncontrollable retching, followed by an immediate demand to have the book taken from them and mashed into pulp."

The Fountain of Fair Fortune
Ok, so this story was kind of like The Wizard of Oz? You know, that end bit where they get symbols of the things they wanted because they actually already HAD them? And also no magic was really involved anywhere? This story was like that, at least in my brain.

I don't know... All I really care about is That Story about the ill-fated Hogwarts pantomime (Seriously. SERIOUSLY. That was amazing.) and also the fact that Lucius Malfoy's vendetta against Dumbledore started when he tried to get a book banned? I mean, REALLY, now he's just scraping the very bottom of the evil barrel. DON'T BAN BOOKS, MALFOY.
Also: "This exchange marked the beginning of Mr Malfoy's long campaign to have me removed from my post as Headmaster of Hogwarts, and of mine to have him removed from his position as Lord Voldemort's favourite Death Eater." Shit, Dumbledore, I think I love you...

The Warlock's Hairy Heart
I seriously dug this story because it has the kind of gruesomeness that I'm never not going to want. (Talk about a stupid sentence. I clearly mean 'I like tales of gruesomeness.' Duh.) It also hits all the Dumbledore-loves-Love buttons and yes. I like.
I was also REALLY pleased with JKR's footnote re: Warlocks, because did we have a discussion where we didn't know the difference between a Wizard and a Warlock? Or did I just have that conversation with myself? Either way- a Warlock is basically just a Wizard who is extra awesome. Which, I think we'll all agree is a very good thing to know!

Babbity Rabbity and Her Cackling Stump
Now THIS is pretty much The Emperor's New Clothes, amiright? Or at least it is to begin with, and then it turns into a kind of 'Haaa, aren't muggles silly?' kind of story. Which, I'm sorry, but how is a witch turning into a rabbit more likely than her turning into a tree? Exactly.
The notes talk a little bit about wizard-death and things, but Alley and I have been discussing how the paintings work (as in, are they a little bit alive after they're dead? Or just a kind of imprint of the dead person? Or... Something else?) and even though they're brought up here, they're still not really fully explained, so that was slightly disappointing.
BUT- it was all ok, because Professor McGonagall is the current Headmistress (we must assume) of Hogwarts! And that is just awesome.

The Tale of the Three Brothers
This story obviously has the most direct relevance to Harry Potter, even if it does kind of start off like The Three Billy Goats Gruff. (Juuust had to link to that because, what if you don't have that story in America?!) But yeah- technically it's the most interesting of the book because of that, but in a way it was also the least interesting, because I pretty much knew the story anyway.
BUT- One of my favourite parts of all of Harry Potter, I think, is when Harry, Ron and Hermione are discussing the Deathly Hallows and talk about which of them they'd choose, and their answers are SO reflective of their characters that it's just excellent. I just...

And then, of course, Dumbledore's thoughts on the subject are veeeery interesting, especially the potential existence of the Hallows (!!!) and their various dangers, and also the fact that even he (the greatest Wizard, maybe EVER) would find it easiest to refuse the Invisibility Cloak of the three. I feel like there's some kind of lack of bravery associated with the Invisibility Cloak, perhaps, but actually I think it's probably the one I'd choose... And the Elder Wand would be my last choice, if anyone wants to know! (Really not interested in Power. Really really.)
Favourite Footnote: "No witch has ever claimed to own the Elder Wand. Make of that what you will."

Nice work, JK. Nice work.

So, The Tales of Beedle the Bard! I will never miss it out again when I read Harry Potter. Aaaand, now I can read the Deathly Hallows, right? RIGHT?! (How can we only have one book left? I will be bereft after this. BEREFT.)