"What happiness was ours that day, what joy, what rest, what hope, what gratitude, what bliss!"

Before I get to talking about this last bit of Bleak House, I just want to take a second to state the incredible fact that I've finished a Dickens book. That I, who had previously sworn off Dickensian things, who had probably said, more than once, I HATE DICKENS, have actually finished one of his novels. And I didn't hate it. In fact, I kind of loved it. Personal growth, I am doing it!

But, of course, credit where credit's due- Alice thank you for making encouraging me to read this by having a readalong because DAMN, you know I can't say no to one of your readalongs. And long may that continue.

Right, now to the book. The nitty and indeed the gritty. Last week we left Lady Dedlock running away from her loving husband because of stupid patriarchal societal values, and that all escalated a bit quickly and suddenly she was dead. If we may just take a second for the massive amounts of mourning that Esther refuses to speak of...

Lady Dedlock may have been a terrible mother, she may have even been a terrible wife in the end, but in my heart of hearts, I just wanted her to come back home to Sir Leicester and see that he loved her desperately and then be reunited with Esther and have her live next door to them and be friends and it all to be lovely. Only, of course, this is Dickens, and ALSO even if Lady Dedlock had come home she would never have been able to publicly acknowledge Esther as her daughter and just, everything is the worst in that situation.

Not the worst: Mr Bucket. Even though I was slightly sad that he wasn't sadder that he was mean to Jo, I just love everything else about him. He's so... Detectivey! And hot. He's definitely hot in my brain, which is important to know. And he has got Skimpole's (ah, the completely non-remorseful Skimpole) number:

"Whenever a person proclaims to you 'In worldly matters I'm a child', you consider that that person is only a-crying off from being held accountable and that you have got that person's number, and it's Number One."

And and and he thinks Esther is a pattern and he just accurately perceives all of the people because of his amazing detective skills.

 Oh yeah.

So Esther's pretty awesome.

"I was frightened when I saw them all about me, but I remembered that before I fainted, I tried very hard not to do it; and that was some little comfort."

And so incredibly hot for Ada.

"When they were gone out, I drew my arm round her waist. She put her left hand in mine."

I'm not sure I'll ever forgive this book for not marrying Esther and Ada to each other, but I'm still glad that Esther got her conventional happy ending with a dude (aw, but Woodcourt is lovely, though. Albeit maybe a tiny bit in love with Richard). Just as a slight negating argument to everything I've been saying for... 7 (?) weeks,  when Esther thinks she shouldn't have certain feelings because she doesn't deserve the thing, she talks around them. So, whilst she talks about Ada and how much she loves her A LOT, she talks around the way she feels about Woodcourt, so maybe she thinks she deserves Ada's friendship, but nobody's love.

But, then again,

"I call him my Richard! But he says that he has two mamas, and I am one."

Richard has two mommies? REALLY, DICKENS?!

There's so much more to talk about, I know (was anyone sad when Richard Snr died? Anyone?) but I'm going to rely on all of you to discuss it, because I really just want to talk Dickens for a second. Mainly- how can one person be so good at writing? Like, seriously. It's not just that he puts sentences together really well (but he definitely does) or that he can set scenes so awesomely, but just his characters, man- there isn't one who feels like filler, and even though all of them are created to move the plot along, they each feel like a fully formed person all by themselves. It's AMAZING, and I can't even deal with the fact that Esther wasn't a real life person who lived and breathed at some point in history. Just, wow.

So basically, I'm already plotting which Dickens to read next (and also... WHICH Dickens should I read next?) I'm so happy to have gotten over my irrational fear, and I'm really sad this readalong is over. WHO WILL EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TURVEYDROP AND TULKINGHORN TO ME NOW?! I need you guys.