Friday 22 February 2013

"'I"m not putting them on... I like a healthy breeze round my privates, thanks.'"


Ooooh, Goblet of Fire. You may take way too long to get to Hogwarts, and already I am sick of Quidditch, but daaaamn, do you know how to bring the scary! Some people last week were saying that they think that the end of The Prisoner of Azkaban is where Harry Potter really begins, but I respectfully disagree- I think all the serious shit really starts in the woods, with the conjuring of the Dark Mark. And ooooh, the CHILLS!

But let's back up a liiittle bit. I really vividly remember reading The Goblet of Fire for the first time- it was the last book to read at the time, and I was kind of nervous because this was IT for a while, and then it starts and I'm like 'but... what IS this?' Because apparently I'd forgotten everything about Wormtail from PoA, but ALSO because... you can't just bring back Voldie, even in diminished form, and not explain how it happened, can you? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, JK?
And then we go back to Harry in the second chapter and the world makes sense again. Even now I have a better idea about what's going on, I'm still like 'whaaaa?' and getting back to Harry makes me feel calm HOW'S THAT FOR LOVE OF THE HARRY FILTER, EMILY?!

Ahem.

So I just want to take a second to appreciate the Weasleys. And by 'the Weasleys' I basically mean, let me tell you about how much I fancy Bill (it is A LOT) and also, remember when they tried to travel by floo to the Dursley's but the fireplace was blocked up because, well, that's what we muggles do (it's totally what would happen in my house) and the entire thing is HILARIOUS, but THEN Mr Weasley is all indignant for Harry and forces Uncle V to say goodbye to him? THAT is almost as cute as this gif:
I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE MR WEASLEY, AND ALSO RYAN GOSLING.

Also there was this:
"By the time they had finished, moths were fluttering low over the table and the warm air was perfumed with the smells of grass and honeysuckle"
Aaaaaand now I really want it to be summer.
Before I get to the bullet points, one last thing. Did everyone notice the little allusions to puberty that JK planted in this book? First of all there's Harry, thinking about GIRLS (well, one girl... "Harry caught a glimpse of Cho, the Ravenclaw Seeker, cheering Stewart Ackerley as he sat down. For a fleeting second, Harry had a strange desire to join the Ravenclaw table too." Awwwwwww!) and of course there are the weird gross plants that you have to squeeze LIKE SPOTS (disgusting but oddly satisfying!) to make acne medicine. I just... It's like really subtle things, but there's just always that little reminder that awwww, our kids are growing up!

Apparently these things are more important to me than The Tri-Wizard Tournament, but ARE WE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS OR WHAT? Yes. We totally are.

Bullet points!

  • This is maybe my favourite moment in Harry Potter so far, and I didn't even remember that it ever happened!
Gawd bless this readalong, is what I say.
  • "Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning. Yours Sincerely, Harry Potter." Obviously, this would have been the worst ever letter. BUT explaining it PROPERLY to Dumbledore? WHY IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?
  • If I had a wizard tent, I would without a doubt go camping all the time. I mean, seriously!
  • It's weird how some things in the books you don't remember at all (FERRET) and others that you do so well that it's like ingrained in your brain. I didn't realise that we didn't know Hogwarts was masked from muggles, until Hermione brought it up as new knowledge on the train. Strange stuff.
  • Mad-Eye Moody kind of terrifies me. And this is the greatest description/insult ever: "It was a face unlike any Harry had ever seen. It looked as though it had been carved out of weathered wood by someone who had only the vaguest idea of what human faces were supposed to look like, and was none too skilled with a chisel." I mean, OUCH!
  • I know all the Ministry stuff is kind of important, and REALLY important for the next book, but mostly I was just like 'can we pleaaaase go back to Hogwarts now though?' This may not bode well for later books...
  • "'Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?' said Ron."

23 comments:

  1. Aww they are growing up :-) And Rowling is a genius for putting in those little reminders.

    AND OMG THOSE TENTS!!! And I thought ours was luxurious cause it has little pockets on the inside walls. Way to make Muggle tents look like crap, J.K.

    And yeah Harry totally should have told Dumbledore about his scar and that dream... he's constantly holding stuff back because he doesn't want people to think he's a wussy whiner. I'm sure we'll be complaining about this even more as the series goes on.

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    1. Pockets on the walls of a tent do actually sound pretty cool! You know, by real life standards. But daaaamn, those tents!

      It just... seems like the sensible thing to do. Although I get what everyone else has said about him not being best buds with D-Dore yet. But but but withholding V-Mort information doesn't really work out so well for him!

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  2. I love the scene where Moody turns Malfoy into a ferret too! It was filmed in the courtyard of a college here in Oxford and when I visited I was practically giddy to see that tree. I basically spent half an hour jumping up and down with excitement and taking pictures from every conceivable angle.

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    1. THAT IS AWESOME. I want to go to there.

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    2. That really is too cool! I go to Oxford sometimes... I should probably check this out!

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  3. TOO MANY SEXY BOY GIFS, STOP IT YOU.

    *"BUT explaining it PROPERLY to Dumbledore? WHY IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?"

    Because at this point they don't really have a relationship. It'd be weird, especially since it was a dream and maybe doesn't mean anything. I had a lovely headmaster who was nice to me and said lovely things to me, but I don't know I would have turned to him first for advice on something - even if he was an expert.

    *Dude, we have like identical bullet points re: tents and camping.

    *Mr Weasley is wonderful, and I love him so much in that scene. And I love that the concept of not saying a heartfelt goodbye is just foreign to him. And let's not forget that in spite of their 20,000 kids Mr and Mrs Weasley took in 2 extra kids and treated them with as much love as they give their own.

    God I love this series.

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    1. There really was a lot of Gosling in this post, huh? LIKE ANYONE IS COMPLAINING!

      I get that he's not besties with D-Dore yet. But it's like 'how does that withholding information thing usually work out for you, Harry? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

      POST TWINS!!!

      I really do love Mr W at that moment. And the Weasleys are great. But I feel like having Hermione to stay with them seems to say that her parents are inadequate in some way, and :(((( I love the Grangers! (Even though we know nothing about them. I still love them.)

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    2. It doesn't mean the Grangers are inadequate! I'm sure, if shit didn't get real post-GoF that Hermione would return the favour and have Ron and Harry over. Except maybe not, because they'd be 15, and that could get weird.

      Also, I like to think that sad face is actually just regular sad but ate a bunch of cupcakes because of their depression and now has 5 double chins (quatro-chins?)

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  4. Hehe, you said Uranus. *26 year-old self pats 6 year-old self on the head and quietly takes away anything with E-numbers in it*

    I went camping once in something maybe one step BELOW a Muggle tent, and it was crapito. Seriously crapito. It was cold and the ground was bumpy and it started thundering and there was something snuffling round the tent that may have been a fox (yikes) or may have been a badger (double yikes) but in our HEADS was some kind of, y'know, werewolf. So we went back inside and warmed up and slept in beds, as the modern human was meant to. Brrrrrrr.

    DRACO FERRET! MY FAVOURITE! Bouncy bouncy. :D

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    1. "Crapito" is my new favorite word.

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    2. Uranus is the hilariest planet.

      I have only been camping once in my life and it was in my friend's back garden and it RAINED and then I got a cold. And we didn't even go inside!! Crapito doesn't even cover it!

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  5. YES! Draco the Ferret is the best and I, too, had forgotten that it even existed.

    Also the Weasleys are my hands-down favorite. Arthur trying to get Uncle Vernon to be nice to Harry is simultaneously the funniest and saddest and most touching thing.

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    1. It's just too amazing! But I can't believe I'd forgotten it! Ah, the treasures we still have to rediscover!

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  6. I agree with Kayleigh. Harry isn't accustomed to being able to seek help from other people (because he never gets help from anybody at home), so I think it's pretty believable that he wouldn't want to email Dumbledore about having a scary dream and some scar pain. I wouldn't want to email Dumbledore about that either. (Email here = owl.) I think it's fair for him not to want to write (a better version of) that letter. He and Dumbledore don't really become besties until the sixth book.

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    1. This is all true. But I still say that when Harry DOESN'T tell about things like this, bad shit happens. Like the whole giant snake thing.

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  7. Bubotubers!

    The above comments make a good point. But yeah, I would totally run to every adult in sight if I had an issue like that. Buuut I'm the youngest in my family, so. Yes.

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    1. Hey, me too! So maybe that's a thing. It still just seems really STUPID not to do something about that. Because DUH.

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  8. Aw! Good point about the puberty allusions. JK is the best.

    I agree with the guys above that he probably wouldn't turn to Dumbles quite yet, and I'm glad he does write to Sirius, but he totally could have written to Lupin too. Hey, do we find out what Lupin is up to in between PoA and whenever we see him next?

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    1. Awww, he could have written to Lupin! I was wondering last week whether we find out what Lupin does between PoA and OotP (he's in that one, right?) and I'm not sure we do. But I'll bet it has something to do with wandering around and being all guilty about what he is and all.

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    2. Aww yeah, he could have written to Lupin. Although Sirius is more of that parent deal he's looking for (being his godfather and all). But Lupin probably would have given good advice.

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  9. OK good so everyone appreciated Ron's Uranus joke. We all have the maturity of a 14 year old boy.

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  10. First of all, your Ryan Gosling GIFs this week are giving me life.

    That description of Moody is so excellent that I will henceforth use it as evidence if ever someone dares to call JKR a sub-par writer in my presence. TAKE THAT, DOUBTERS.

    Bill is totally the hottest guy in the series. And I imagine that Charlie is a close second, based purely on the fact that he trains dragons on a daily basis.

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  11. I feel feels about all the things that feel your feels in this section. Also, I enjoy your themed-gif-post.

    Also, JK YOU ARE SO GOOD AT DESCRIPTIONS OF THINGS. (But still, so bad at numbers.)

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