Friday 22 March 2013

"'His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother,' said Ron irritably. 'Is that normal, Hermione?'


Oh Harry.
Look. I get that he's had a traumatic experience. If he wanted to spend his time in this book sitting in a corner staring and being sad, then that would be ok. If he was just fired up and wanting to KILL VOLDIE and everything, then that would be just fine too. But it's like... He wants A LOT of credit for the things he's done, which is something he's never done before (he's usually more modest right? And like, PUSHING AWAY of the adulation and all) and then he's also all bitter and twisted and all of a sudden very much a teenager. It's kind of annoying, and kind of a lot to get used to since up until now, Harry's been kind of, you know, awesome.

To add to the annoyings, Sirius is being an idiot. As I think we all know, I've never been his biggest fan anyway, but I could see that he was pretty good to Harry even if he did try to MURDER Snape that one time. But at the start of this book? He's being a big sulky fool because he's not allowed out (you're a fugitive, Sirius. Why do you keep forgetting this?) and he thinks it's a good idea to go with Harry to his hearing at the Ministry of Magic.
I mean, it's not going to be suspicious or anything that Harry's being accompanied by a massive dog, is it? No one's going to say, 'Hey, what's that dog doing here?', are they? WHY WOULD SIRIUS THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Aaaaand I'm pissed that he DID go to Kings Cross with the gang, because STUPID STUPID STUPID. It's like he WANTS to die.

The whole 'omg, Harry used magic illegally, is he going to get kicked out of Hogwarts?' thing was a kind of non-starter for me, not because, you know, I've read it already and knew that he didn't, but because there's no tension in that anyway- of COURSE Harry isn't going to get kicked out of Hogwarts, because there would be no story. Or at least not a good one. I'm going to let this slide because I'm thinking that going into the Ministry is something that will be important later, but I feel like it could have been done in a way that didn't involve fake tension.

ON THE PLUS SIDE (yes, there is one): Tonks! And Luna! I'd forgotten about how Sirius is related to everyone bad (and everyone. He's related to all the people.) so that was newly interesting to me, and if anything the whole Black family saga has been about the only thing that has made me like him so far because leaving home because your parents are terrible bigots is a pretty cool thing to do, if you ask me.  And, oh yeah, Neville continues to be awesome. Of course.
Just a fewwwww bullet points...

  • I feel the need to do some English person explaining, firstly, that when McGonagall offers Harry a biscuit, she really means a cookie. I just don't want there to be any confusion here. Also, the reason they're doing OWLs this year is because the 5th year is the year that we do exams, (GCSEs), and then the 7th year is when we would do MORE exams. Just, you know, so that kind of makes more sense?
  • OMG this: "'What did he do to you, Diddy... Was it- was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use- his thing.'" Wait, what exactly are we talking about here... NAUGHTY HARRY
  • In other things Petunia says, "'I heard- that awful boy- telling her about [dementors] years ago.'" *meaningful looks all round*
  • Ugh, Percy.
  • Ugh, Umbridge.
  • One of Dumbledore's middle names is Brian. This is unspeakably excellent.
  • I genuinely don't know where Hagrid is, but... Look, I like Hagrid and everything, but it's kind of annoying when Harry, Ron and Ginny angrily defend his teaching, because... He's kind of not that great a teacher. I'm sorry, but he isn't!
  • Hufflepuff continues to be the best. "Said Hufflepuff, 'I'll teach the lot/ And treat them just the same.'" THAT IS HOW IT'S DONE, other houses!
As far as I remember OotP, it doesn't get much cheerier. Expect an equally moany post again next week. 

26 comments:

  1. Oooooook, so many things so I'm going to resort to numbering my comment.

    1. I really hate what JKR does with Sirius in this book. Say what you will about teenage Sirius, adult Sirius post-Azkaban has been all about looking after Harry's safety. And even if he made some risky moves i.e. hiding in a cave in Hogsmeade, he still took precautions. So why is he suddenly so reckless? Because the order has been restored and he's butt-hurt he has to stay inside? Sorry JKR, I don't buy it.

    2. Sirius is related to *everyone*. ALSO, were you aware that Fabian and Gideon Prewitt (in the Order photo Moody shows Harry) are Molly's brothers? I only found that out last week (unless I knew and forgot) AND IT BLEW MY MIND.

    3. "that awful boy" > I think this was the first time I noticed that in the text and I'd be lying if I said I didn't start squealing a lot!

    4. STOP! Hagrid is a good teacher, he knows magical creatures better than ANYONE. He just needs confidence, and stupid Malfoy and his stupid face keeps getting in the way. I challenge you to find a single first/second year teacher who was amazing from their first day. (I will defend Hagrid to the ends of the earth, but I still love you Laura, even if you are WRONG)

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    1. 1. Exactly! He's being so whiny and teenagery and recklessy and it's really annoying, especially since he's in the safest place he's been since, like, he got out of Azkaban. UNLESS it's because he's around other people now, who are acutely aware that he's in a lot of danger, which means they're in a lot of danger, and, like, it pisses him off? I don't know. He's just annoying.

      2. I didn't even remember that Fabian and Gideon were even, like, mentioned hahaha! But her brothers have crazy names and she's just called Molly? Really?! But anyway, yeah, that's pretty cool!

      3. I know, I know, I know!!!!! OMG! My eyes like POPPED out of my head and I FREAKED OUT!

      4. But but but having a lot of information about something doesn't make you a good teacher if you don't, like, pass on that information effectively. And fair enough that he's a new teacher so he's not amazing, but then HE'S NOT AMAZING. He might be a good teacher SOMEDAY. Who knows? But that doesn't mean he is at the moment.

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    2. But at the start that's all teachers are. They're squishy pink things filled with knowledge terrified of the loud kids who throw things and are brutally honest. It doesn't make them a bad teacher. If they've been doing past their own death (Bins) and *still* suck then yeah, they're a bad teacher. Two years in though? Nope.

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    3. And I should probably say, I admit he isn't a great teacher (Flobber worms and B.E.S) but his unicorn, niffler and thestral classes (before Umbridge) are all solid. As Hermione admits, therefore setting it in stone.

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    4. Hmmmmmmmmm. He is not the worst ever. But it's just vaguely annoying when Ron and Harry act like he's the BEST ever, when he's clearly not that, either.

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    5. In that instance though they're just being loyal friends, but yeah he's far far far away from being best ever.

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    6. I'm just going to chime in here and ask: how exactly Hagrid is qualified to teach this class? I mean, he obviously loves magical creatures and knows a fair bit about them, but how exactly did he learn it all? Did he do some sort of wizarding equivalent of online school? Because he never made it past third year of school...

      And on that subject, how are the other teachers qualified for their positions? Is there a wizarding equivalent of grad school? I guess Umbridge doesn't have any teaching qualifications either, though. Or Lockhart. Or Mad Eye Moody. So maybe having some sort of practical knowledge of the subject is enough?

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    7. I'm thinking that in the wizarding world, knowing loads and loads about your subject is enough to qualify you as a teacher. Because that's the ONLY way Hagrid could have gotten the job.

      Frankly, if I was Grubbly Plank, I'd be REALLY pissed off, because she's clearly an awesome teacher and should probably have Hagrid's job. UNLESS she doesn't want it, in which case... OK then.

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  2. 1. Harry doesn't so much want credit for the things he's done in the sense of like, "Harry is the champion!" He wants credit for them in the same way I wanted credit for being smart when I was a kid -- he doesn't like being treated like a dumb kid who needs to be protected, because he feels like that kind of treatment discounts his experiences. Which frankly it does! They don't have to let him go out on missions or anything, but I don't see any real reason for the secrecy about the prophecy and what Snape's up to and that stuff.

    2. I am going to write a MAJOR POST defending Sirius. You just wait. I disagree with everything you have said. Sort of. Mostly.

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    1. 1. Oh man, I would so not tell Harry what Snape's up to because he'd probably be like 'oh, Voldie, what about Snape though' and then Snape would be all dead and I'd cry. (Ok, Harry wouldn't do that. But James might.) But, I see your point. But it's still delivered in a really annoying and whingy way, AND before no one will tell him anything, like, when they're in the same room. Cause, like, obvs they can't send anything by owl because ANYONE could read it!

      2. ALL of it though? Even the bit where he's like 'Yeah, I should totes go to the MoM with you even though that's the stupidest idea ever'?

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  3. Sirius isn't FORGETTING he's a fugitive and can't go out. It's just that it suuuuucks so much. Whenever I'm stuck in the house for a week I get stir crazy and I like my house. I can't imagine if it was a place I never thought I'd have to go back to every again and now I'm trapped there. But yes, it was stupid of him to go to King's Cross with them

    HOORAY Tonks! And Luna, even though Luna is kind of meh now. But we know she will be amaaaazing. More amazing.

    Can you answer Kayleigh's questions about the OWLs on her blog? Cos (as you know) I totally do not get the English education system.

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    1. Yeah, it sucks but when the alternative is death... WHAT DO YOU WANT, SIRIUS?! I don't even care about the Kings Cross thing so much as the thinking it was a good idea to go to the MoM with Harry. That's clearly the WORST idea. And like, surely if he got caught, whoever he was with (Harry) would get all put in Azkaban for harbouring a criminal, right? I don't think that's very caring or Godfatherly of him!

      TONKS! It's weird, I don't really think of her that much if I think about Harry Potter (because she's not in it enough, obvs) but this time I'm just like I LOVE YOU! Luna is always awesome, obvs.

      I really can't answer Kayleigh's questions! All I can say is that we do GCSEs at the same time as they do OWLs in Hogwarts, but there's no, like, weird weighting system to how they're marked. So I literally don't know. Let's just say that JK's being stupid again.

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    2. Sirius is just figuring he can go out and maybe they won't actually recognize his dog form. Although can you imagine if the Deatheaters and people in the ministry that got word from the Deatheaters about his animagus form are going around and "arresting" normal dogs they think are him?

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    3. THE POOR DOGS! That would be so terrible. But a fun sideline. Like a row of dogs sitting in a holding cell... Maaaaan. I'm so giggling right now.

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    4. Kingsley should somehow make this happen. It can make the ministry look stupid. Though he'd have to keep his name out of it. Maybe blame it on one of those Deatheaters that is feeding in the information. The point is, a cell full of dogs being questioned about being Sirius would be the best.

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    5. And then they could do a dog line up! And get Malfoy snr in! 'Is this Sirius Black? What about this one?' OMG WHY DID THIS NEVER HAPPEN?!

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    6. This thread is KILLING ME.

      /dead

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  4. YES, Harry is being super annoying and whiny!

    I disagree about Sirius... he's being sulky, but it's got to SUCK being stuck in that house. I don't really get why he can't leave more- if Death Eaters see him, he can take care of himself just like any other Order member could. And if the Ministry learns that he's alive, well he's hid from them before, right? I think he's probably better at not getting found out than Dumbly's really giving him credit for.

    Oooo I have an English-y question for you - Wotcher? Is that an English way of saying hi or something?

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    1. Hmmm... That's a good point actually. Although, does Sirius have a wand? And if he does, can he carry it while he's a dog? Cause those things would make it pretty unsafe for him to go out. But seriously, that is a really good point!

      Yeah, it's kind of an English way of saying Hi. I mean, I never have said it, but I kind of understand it as that, so yeah! I think it's kind of like 'whatcha up to then?' kind of thing?

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  5. I'mma throw my lots in with the commenters above and say you and Kayleigh M are the wrongest about Sirius. Back in the house where you were verbally abused and who knows what else as a kid? Still being verbally abused in said house? Of course he wants to fuck off out of there! Yes, definitely reckless, but it's a reaction that makes sense and absolutely fits with his character.

    Also, you are the greatest with the British explanations. Thank you for that. And when Harry declines a second biscuit and McGonagall says "Don't be ridiculous"? The best.

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    1. BUT IT IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA EVER TO GO TO THE MoM WITH HARRY! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING STUPIDER! Stupid Sirius. I'm still bitter about what he did to Snape, obvs.

      Hehehe, I love it, it makes me feel special! Yessssss McGonagall making kids eat biscuits :)

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  6. 'Did he use his - thing?'

    I MEAN, RIGHT? Way to be deliberately vaguely gross, Petunia.

    Because I have already read the next section, Sirius gets even dumber. I had no real feelings about him before this re-read besides He's A Good Guy, Right? but now I'm starting to ROLL my EYES. Be less of a tool, Sirius.

    (Snape 4evah)

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    1. I am SO GLAD I wasn't the only one giggling at the weird euphemisms for Harry's wand... I felt really inappropriate cracking up on my couch when I knew I should have my Serious Face on because of the dementors.

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    2. Why doesn't Petunia get that she's asking if Harry molested Diddikins? Can she not HEAR herself?! But, you know, LOLZIES.

      And Raych, the bit where Sirius is in the fire? And he's all like 'God Harry, didn't know you were such a wimp' etc etc? What a DOUCHE. The only feelings I had about Sirius were like, Oh, he was kind of mean when he was a kid, but I guess he's ok now; but now I'm like... DAMN YOU SIRIUS.

      (I love you, Snape)

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  7. I *think* the point of the whole Ministry of Magic trial was more to set up the Looming Presence of the Ministry in Harry's affairs than to create suspense. Because they kind of were orchestrating his expulsion, just a little bit? Like, they wanted him out of Hogwarts. Because Voldemort has his fingers all up in their Ministry pie.

    But...but when Sirius gets to go to Kings Cross he WAGS HIS TAIL AND GAMBOLS AND CHASES A BIRD. I just want to kiss his widdle nosey.

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    1. Yeah, I've definitely gotten over the it's not suspenseful thing, because I feel like it's way important that we saw the Ministry. Also it was pretty cool.

      Aww- I'm not saying that Sirius isn't a cute dog! I'm sure he is. But he's also a fucking idiot.

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