GUYS! I have been such an inconsistent blogger lately that it's crazy. And I don't even have an excuse for it. I mean, sure, I've been to Harry Potter Land (OMG. That is getting a post all of its own because seriously, it was SO much more exciting than I thought it would be) and there was that whole week where I was watching Harry Potter films and that basically took up all of my spare time, but the weeks just seem to be whizzing by me at the moment and blogging somehow hasn't happened in them.
Which is fine. But I'm still reading (WOO!) and the things to review are piling up and I want to get some thoughts on the Harry Potter films down before I forget them and have to GASP watch them again and yeah. I needs to get back on track, so here's a Sunday Sundries for you. You lucky things.
Right now, I am...
Listening to: I've been listening to Joni Mitchell (SURPRISE!) while I've been running because it turns out that Blue is a pretty good length for how far I've been having to run on the Couch to 5k programme. I was slightly concerned that it would make me hate Joni Mitchell, or associate her with really hard work or whatever, but mostly I just go 'you and me are in this together, Joni!' and just keep on running.
Reading: Soooo many things. Except really only one thing. Ok, so before Friday I was reading: As Always, Julia a book of letters between Julia Child and Avis Devoto because I watched Julie and Julia again on Monday and am always obsessed with it and this is basically the only book associated with it that I have left, and then of course I'm reading Lady Audley's Secret for Alice's readalong, Everything's Eventual of which I have read 2 of 14 short stories and at this rate it'll take me 7 weeks to finish, and The First 20 Minutes which is all about exercise and busting some myths about what's best to do and which I would probably find really boring if the lady writing it wasn't EXTREMELY AMUSING. But she is so it's awesome.
AND. I am reading World War Z. Which is really ALL I'm reading at the moment because OMG it's so good. Like way better than I was expecting. Especially because I picked it up once before and couldn't really be bothered with it but this time I've gone past the first 2 pages and I am SO INTO IT.
You could probably have gotten all of this information from my sidebar. Also I hope all the answers aren't going to be this long...
Eating: This afternoon (Saturday, natch) I've had a magnum and half an easter egg. To say that I'm riding a sugar wave right now would be an understatement. *crashes 5 minutes later*
Watching: I was on tumblr the other day and there was this MASSIVE Parks and Rec spoiler that would annoy me but it was too awesome and it reminded me that there were Parks and Rec episodes just out there in the world that I hadn't seen, so I'm on that now. I also just started watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (which is the second thing in this post recommended to me by Alley) and it's preeeeetty funny, you guys. I'm into it.
Making: TECHNICALLY I haven't started this yet, but, inspired by last week's trip to Harry Potter Land, I've bought the wool to make myself a Hufflepuff scarf. This winter I will be the coolest of all the people in the world. And this doesn't really count as making, but yesterday I repaired three bras, a dress, and finished off this skirt I've made from a dress. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.
Planning: A way that I can spend the maximum possible amount of time outside this summer. Because yaaaaay, vitamin D!
Feeling: Not too bad. Fairly alright. And on Friday night I went out and had some drinks, and I honestly felt more like a normal person than I have in my whole life. (Note: I am not a normal person).
Loving: Longer days and restful nights, getting stuff that I've been putting off done, Harry Potter (especially at the moment), and the massive load of easter and birthday chocolate I still have to eat. Mmmm, sugar...
Wanting: I actually kind of want another readathon. I just fancy it now I'm in the middle of 5 books, but I think the reason I'm in the middle of 5 books is because last week's readathon made me go 'oh YEAH! Reading!' which is pretty good. I'm unofficially reading the crap out of shit. Yeah, that's what I said.
Thinking: About how shit I am at actually making things happen. I am being deliberately vague but there's a thing I really want and all I have to do is some stuff and I haven't and I just really frustrate myself sometimes. I'm working on it, but it's a really massive personality flaw, I feel.
Looking forward to: Seeing Frances's new flat (at some point), meeting my cousin's baby (at some point... probably August), picnics all summer, reading all the books. These things are not too shabby.
Tell me all about your things, please. What are some of YOUR massive flaws? Let's commiserate.
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Thursday, 1 May 2014
"'I hope they won't quarrel in the hunting season, or say unpleasant things to each other at the dining table: rows always upset a man's digestion.'"
"Turning to him with a sudden passion in her manner... she fell on her knees at her feet.
'No, Lucy; no, no!' he cried vehemently, 'not here, not here!'"
SO. Can we talk about Lucy's secret, please? In my brain, I believe that I have it all figured out, but if I have then Braddon has kind of spunked* her whole story in the first four chapters and is that likely? Possibly not. But let me tell you my thoughts anyway- Lucy is George Tallboy's wife and she has a child that she has either left somewhere or who has died and she's faked her own death or at least put an announcement in The Times and... That's basically all I've got so far but it seems plausible, right? It might not make complete sense, but eh, it's the Victorians, so.
I think I love Robert Audley and that's pretty much all I have to say about that.
(Other than, isn't it CONVENIENT that he knows George? TOO convenient, if you ask me...)
Sorry not sorry for the Skarsgard heavy post. I am EXCITED for Lady Audley's ACTUAL secret, and hopefully more Robert because hey, he's awesome and I would marry him.
Sunday, 27 April 2014
Sunday Sundries: BRB Just At Harry Potter Land
GUYS. I failed at Sunday Sundries last week (Easter, yo) and I have pretty much failed at blogging this week. It's been one of those things where I haven't even had that much to do, but I've had two evenings when I haven't been home, Monday was a total write off because CHOCOLATE and the rest of my time has been spent watching Harry Potter resentfully so I can toddle off to Harry Potter Land (Ok, actual name The Harry Potter Studio Tour, I think. Right?) and actually know what I'm looking at. Well, that's the plan at least.
I'm writing this on Friday evening to make sure it actually gets done, and I've been off work all day with a bad headache- booooo! The weird thing about doing this, at least this week, is that tomorrow is the 24 hour readathon and I'm still on the fence about doing it because of said Harry Potter Land visit (i.e. definitely no staying up all night reading) so I feel like I should pass comment on it only I can't because it hasn't happened yet and I might not do it and GAH. Basically I should probably not have written this paragraph and SHOULD comment on it on Sunday. Or today. What am I even saying?!
P.S. This is a really really awesome response to the original post and READ IT READ IT. Ok, now I'm actually done.
I'm writing this on Friday evening to make sure it actually gets done, and I've been off work all day with a bad headache- booooo! The weird thing about doing this, at least this week, is that tomorrow is the 24 hour readathon and I'm still on the fence about doing it because of said Harry Potter Land visit (i.e. definitely no staying up all night reading) so I feel like I should pass comment on it only I can't because it hasn't happened yet and I might not do it and GAH. Basically I should probably not have written this paragraph and SHOULD comment on it on Sunday. Or today. What am I even saying?!
Me, right now.
Anyway. I can't really comment on this weekend, because I technically haven't done it yet, and by technically I mean, I actually haven't. SO let's talk about a different thing that I just read about on the internet last night and am PRETTY ANGRY ABOUT.
So there's this recent Thought Catalog* list called 6 Things I Don't Understand About The Fat Acceptance Movement. I'm always kind of ashamed at how much I tend to like Thought Catalog lists, just for the one or two things on them that make me go 'THIS IS ME THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS ME AT LAST!' but that's the way it is and I kind of like it. However. This list is fucked up in all kinds of ways, the comments annoy me just as much and I just GAH. Why are people allowed to exist?
So. I heard about this list from a post that was already talking about all the things that were wrong with it, so I was kind of in a place to hate it from the start, but basically its writer doesn't just not understand 6 things that are wrong with fat acceptance, she doesn't understand anything about it. Like, anything. What it intends to do, what the point of it is, who needs it, why it's needed... Nothing. Saying something like 'America encourages fatness! We should be cracking down on it!' is basically like saying that they've never read a magazine, or been in a shop that sells clothes, or have any clue what it's actually like to be a fat person in the world.
Anyway. The point is this. Fat acceptance is not about going 'look at me! I weigh 400lbs and need help to dress myself! I'm awesome! Everyone come and worship me!' It's about, you know, acceptance. Of your physical shape, of the way you look right now. It's acceptance of your body and the things it's able to do, even if it doesn't look the way it's 'supposed' to. It's not about sitting back and going 'oh, it's fine, I can eat whatever I want in huge quantities because there's a movement that supports me now', but it's about feeling confident about doing whatever the hell you want because you should and you can and nobody has the right to shame you about what your body looks like because IT'S YOUR FUCKING BODY.
I'm not really a part of the fat acceptance movement. I don't know all that much about it. But I know enough to know that it's something that's based on acceptance of ALL body shapes (not just one) and on loving yourself no matter what you look like, and just generally living life without giving two shits about what other people think of the way you look. It's about being kind to yourself, being kind to everyone else, and not just blithely accepting what the media says is supposed to be attractive. Jesus Christ, if we took all the time spent obsessing over how our bodies aren't perfect and put it towards making the world less shit, just imagine what we could do! We'd be unstoppable. And we should be.
So, fat acceptance. Or, if you like, body acceptance. Look into it. Think about it. Never write anything as misinformed and ignorant as the Thought Catalog lady. Ok, we're done now.
P.S. This is a really really awesome response to the original post and READ IT READ IT. Ok, now I'm actually done.
*Or Catalogue. That really annoys me.
Saturday, 26 April 2014
A Half Hearted Readathon
Update 3: 11:22am
Omg, I had such a good sleep, you guys don't even KNOW. (Sorry). I read one short story from Everything's Eventual before sleeping last night (IT WAS HORRIBLE. But not supernaturally scary so I can deal) and then this morning I remembered that I was just over halfway through this GIANT graphic-novel-memoir (giant as in, I think it might be TOO long...) A Drifting Life, and I thought heyyyy... I can read that! And I will get through so many pages! This is how you win things, people. (Obviously I'm a winner here and not actually a loser...)
So. My sister is coming to pick me up in about 15 minutes (hopefully...) to go to Harry Potter Land, so this will be my last update for the readathon, although I'll probably do the wrap up questions thingy later tonight just for, you know, continuity. So HAVE FUN finishing the readathon, I think you're all amazing and keep going!
Books Finished: 2
Books Read From: 4
Pages Read: 174
Cumulative Pages Read: 620
Snacks: This morning, I just had breakfast. Am trying to eat like a sane person again.
Naps: Nah, just, you know, regular sleep.
Update 2: 10:30pm, 9 1/2 Hours Down
Guys! This readathon thing without doing any (or, at least not much) of the social stuff actually works really well! I'm bad at meeting new internet people, and most of my internet people aren't participating, so I've just been reading like a champ and have now finished 2 books. I KNOW. I'm kind of impressed with myself too. Since the last update, I've pretty much just read (natch) eaten a whole pizza (from Lidl, not, like, Dominos or whatever) and changed my bedsheets which badly needed to happen because I cut my ankle shaving like more than two weeks ago and there was blood allll over my sheet and did I change it? I did not.
So. This is my final update before sleepytime. My phone is already off, my ipad will shortly be going to sleep, and I will read for a little bit more before actually sleeping myself. I will probably return in the morning, although actually that'll only be if I read anything... But that sounds likely, right? Either way, I will be rooting for you in my dreams, so keep on going! You're all awesome.
Books Finished: 2
Books Read From: 2
Pages Read: 247
Cumulative Pages Read: 446 (again, I really should have read 4 more!)
Snacks: OMG, so many veggie percy pigs on top of a pizza and a creme egg. Feeling slightly sick, I can't lie.
Naps: Still not any. I don't know why I bother having this category because I don't even nap! Like, ever! Stupid.
But wait, there's more!
Because apparently I can't turn down a selfie, even if this one does kind of make it look like there's something wrong with my face... DAMN FRONT FACING CAMERAS!
Look! I'm with all my PEL books! And I look slightly deranged! Yaaaay!
Update 1: 5:15pm, 4 1/4 Hours Down
I'm still here! Still reading! I've taken a break because either my ipad is ever so slightly hurting my eyes or I just really need a sleep. Either way, I'm tired. POOR ME, FEEL MY PAIN etc.
How is everyone doing? I've had about a million fairly unnecessary snacks for someone who had a hearty lunch, so I'm not only tired, I'm pretty full, too. If you think that's a prime position to be in to have a nap, then you would be absolutely right. Am I about to attempt to nap? Well, that would be telling. Here's what I will tell you- some reading stats!
Books Finished: 0 (booo)
Books Read From: 2 (I started with Life After Life, had to take a break to charge my ipad and went for The Harm In Asking by Sara Barron which is HILARE. Seriously.)
Pages Read: 199 (woaaaah. Also I feel like I should have read ONE MORE PAGE)
Snacks: Numerous, and mostly unhealthy. There was an orange in there somewhere though!
Naps: Ask me in an hour.
The Beginning
Hi, kids! So today is readathon day, and I've been having the kind of issue where you sign up for something and are really excited about it at the time, and then it ends up being sandwiched between a migraine you had yesterday, and an outing you're going on tomorrow, when you really just wanted to dedicate a whole weekend to its excellence. But, nonetheless, I shall read some, go to bed at a sensible hour, and everything will be fine.
To be fair, I've already read a fair bit this morning, so I must be at least two hours in by now. But we'll call this the start, anyway. Updates will, as ever, be on this post, although I'm not sure how many of them there'll be. WE SHALL SEE.
Introductory Stuff
1. What fine part of the world are you reading from today? London, England. Ish. Let's call it London-lite. Or something. Ok, it's basically Twickenham.
2. Which book in your stack are you most looking forward to?
OK, so I don't really have a stack PER SE (I know, something bad has happened to me- for my first readathon I had a stack of 18 books) but I do have 4 books near me so of them, I'm probably most looking forward to Life After Life, which I'm already halfway through. So THAT'S exciting!
3. Which snack are you most looking forward to?
I'm basically just going to be munching on birthday and easter chocolate. So ALL of that.
4. Tell us a little something about yourself!
Um... I'm a new convert to running and should probably be doing that right now, only my head's still a bit tender so reading it is!
5. If you participated in the last readathon, what's one thing you'll do different today?
LAST readathon I spent most of it talking to my new (at the time) housemates, so I'm going to do less of that today! But also, early night. Important.
Alright, READING TIME.
Omg, I had such a good sleep, you guys don't even KNOW. (Sorry). I read one short story from Everything's Eventual before sleeping last night (IT WAS HORRIBLE. But not supernaturally scary so I can deal) and then this morning I remembered that I was just over halfway through this GIANT graphic-novel-memoir (giant as in, I think it might be TOO long...) A Drifting Life, and I thought heyyyy... I can read that! And I will get through so many pages! This is how you win things, people. (Obviously I'm a winner here and not actually a loser...)
So. My sister is coming to pick me up in about 15 minutes (hopefully...) to go to Harry Potter Land, so this will be my last update for the readathon, although I'll probably do the wrap up questions thingy later tonight just for, you know, continuity. So HAVE FUN finishing the readathon, I think you're all amazing and keep going!
Books Finished: 2
Books Read From: 4
Pages Read: 174
Cumulative Pages Read: 620
Snacks: This morning, I just had breakfast. Am trying to eat like a sane person again.
Naps: Nah, just, you know, regular sleep.
Update 2: 10:30pm, 9 1/2 Hours Down
Guys! This readathon thing without doing any (or, at least not much) of the social stuff actually works really well! I'm bad at meeting new internet people, and most of my internet people aren't participating, so I've just been reading like a champ and have now finished 2 books. I KNOW. I'm kind of impressed with myself too. Since the last update, I've pretty much just read (natch) eaten a whole pizza (from Lidl, not, like, Dominos or whatever) and changed my bedsheets which badly needed to happen because I cut my ankle shaving like more than two weeks ago and there was blood allll over my sheet and did I change it? I did not.
So. This is my final update before sleepytime. My phone is already off, my ipad will shortly be going to sleep, and I will read for a little bit more before actually sleeping myself. I will probably return in the morning, although actually that'll only be if I read anything... But that sounds likely, right? Either way, I will be rooting for you in my dreams, so keep on going! You're all awesome.
Books Finished: 2
Books Read From: 2
Pages Read: 247
Cumulative Pages Read: 446 (again, I really should have read 4 more!)
Snacks: OMG, so many veggie percy pigs on top of a pizza and a creme egg. Feeling slightly sick, I can't lie.
Naps: Still not any. I don't know why I bother having this category because I don't even nap! Like, ever! Stupid.
But wait, there's more!
Because apparently I can't turn down a selfie, even if this one does kind of make it look like there's something wrong with my face... DAMN FRONT FACING CAMERAS!
Update 1: 5:15pm, 4 1/4 Hours Down
I'm still here! Still reading! I've taken a break because either my ipad is ever so slightly hurting my eyes or I just really need a sleep. Either way, I'm tired. POOR ME, FEEL MY PAIN etc.
How is everyone doing? I've had about a million fairly unnecessary snacks for someone who had a hearty lunch, so I'm not only tired, I'm pretty full, too. If you think that's a prime position to be in to have a nap, then you would be absolutely right. Am I about to attempt to nap? Well, that would be telling. Here's what I will tell you- some reading stats!
Books Finished: 0 (booo)
Books Read From: 2 (I started with Life After Life, had to take a break to charge my ipad and went for The Harm In Asking by Sara Barron which is HILARE. Seriously.)
Pages Read: 199 (woaaaah. Also I feel like I should have read ONE MORE PAGE)
Snacks: Numerous, and mostly unhealthy. There was an orange in there somewhere though!
Naps: Ask me in an hour.
The Beginning
Hi, kids! So today is readathon day, and I've been having the kind of issue where you sign up for something and are really excited about it at the time, and then it ends up being sandwiched between a migraine you had yesterday, and an outing you're going on tomorrow, when you really just wanted to dedicate a whole weekend to its excellence. But, nonetheless, I shall read some, go to bed at a sensible hour, and everything will be fine.
To be fair, I've already read a fair bit this morning, so I must be at least two hours in by now. But we'll call this the start, anyway. Updates will, as ever, be on this post, although I'm not sure how many of them there'll be. WE SHALL SEE.
Introductory Stuff
1. What fine part of the world are you reading from today? London, England. Ish. Let's call it London-lite. Or something. Ok, it's basically Twickenham.
2. Which book in your stack are you most looking forward to?
OK, so I don't really have a stack PER SE (I know, something bad has happened to me- for my first readathon I had a stack of 18 books) but I do have 4 books near me so of them, I'm probably most looking forward to Life After Life, which I'm already halfway through. So THAT'S exciting!
3. Which snack are you most looking forward to?
I'm basically just going to be munching on birthday and easter chocolate. So ALL of that.
4. Tell us a little something about yourself!
Um... I'm a new convert to running and should probably be doing that right now, only my head's still a bit tender so reading it is!
5. If you participated in the last readathon, what's one thing you'll do different today?
LAST readathon I spent most of it talking to my new (at the time) housemates, so I'm going to do less of that today! But also, early night. Important.
Alright, READING TIME.
Friday, 25 April 2014
Devouring Stephen King (and Peter Straub): Black House
"She's beautiful, but he senses that beauty is one of the least important things about her."
Black House is the sequel to The Talisman that nobody asked for. I'm sorry, let me rephrase that- the sequel to The Talisman that I didn't ask for, and I didn't want. This is an extraordinarily grumpy start to a post, I realise, but good lord did I dislike The Talisman; and so Black House wasn't exactly a Stephen King book I was looking forward to getting to. But, it is here, it is done with, and you know what? It wasn't half bad.
Before we even talk about the book, shall we talk about the title? Black House sounds an awful lot like Bleak House, WHICH I JUST READ (weird!) and I thought this was just a coincidence and nothing would come of it. BUT in this book, two of the characters read Bleak House, and while I think it's still pretty much a coincidence, it's pretty cool that the similarity of the titles is at least acknowledged and mentioned and whatnot.
Now. The story. We left Jack Sawyer after his really long boring journey and something about some kind of talisman and saving his mother and blah blah blah, as a twelve year old boy on the East Coast. Now living in Wisconsin, Jack is a retired LAPD homicide detective, and in my brain, he is now SMOKING hot. I don't know why, there's definitely nothing to suggest that he's especially the most handsome man in the world, but in my particular world of the story, he's pretty fine. And I would marry him. That's your first indication that I maybe didn't hate this book that much.
So. Jack is retired from police work, but children keep being murdered near him and he's coerced into helping with the investigation into that. OF COURSE it's not just a case of simple child murder, since Jack's all special and there's this whole other world (The Territories) that he hardly remembers but to which he is still important, and both of these things tie in together and make it so that Jack is the only one who can solve the case. On the whole, I BY FAR enjoyed all the police-work-biker-gang-reality stuff more than the fantasy-talking-there has to be a supernatural element to all this cause I say so stuff. Which is fairly rare for me, but the latter stuff reminded me that The Talisman existed, and that just pissed me off.
HOWEVER. The stuff in The Territories in this book related A LOT to The Dark Tower series, and so I was kind of in hog heaven over it. Seriously- I may have mentioned before that I kind of like those books, you know, no big deal, they're just King's magnum opus, whatevs, and so any extra information I can get about that world, I am all over. I'm always impressed with how carefully it's crafted, too- it's just enough about The Dark Tower so you stay interested in it, but not so much that it cuts off any storylines that might be about to happen in that universe. It's very well done, basically, and I'm hugely impressed that King made Straub agree to include those connections. Because hey, it's Straub's book too.*
So there's that. I read quite large chunks of this book in single sittings because it was both well written and compelling, but (but, but, but) just like in The Talisman, there was so much build up (TOO much build up) for the inevitable rushed and disappointing damp squib of an ending. The entire book feels like it's building up for something incredible to happen, but... It doesn't. Not really. STUFF happens, and it's alright, but it's over in about 3 pages and then there's just the explaining what happened to the townsfolk who don't understand the supernatural. You know what I would have liked? More of the supernatural to explain. It definitely did a lot to how I feel about the book as a whole, but there's still a lot I like about it in the end.
Like, the characters. The characters are so much better than in The Talisman, even Jack is better than in The Talisman, and I cared about each and every one of them. There's the kindly and surprisingly well educated biker gang, Jack's blind but brilliant best friend, the put upon police chief, the extraordinary boy and his equally as extraordinary mother... There are a lot of characters to care about here, and even a few to love, and on the other side, there are just as many who are fun to hate (the bastard newspaper reporter comes to mind here, plus, you know, the child murderer...). It's all good where they're concerned, really.
One final thing though. This is not ok:
"Esther Summerson begins to chirp away in the first person. Our friends decide that the appearance of Esther demands a small libation, if they are to get through much more chirping."
*Although maybe there are connections in it that relate to some of Straub's work too. I dunno, what, do have to read all his books now, too?!
Friday, 18 April 2014
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets: (Almost) Live Blog
I'm sure we all enjoyed last night's post of anger and disappointment so much that we're really excited to do it all over again tonight! Yay? I have heard that HP2 (as we shall call it) isn't much better than HP1, so I'm definitely really looking forward to it. Yes.
21:05- God, I think this ones longer than the last one, even. Never listen to my housemates when they say 'you can just watch one and two back to back'. Only if I've got FIVE HOURS to spare, guys.
21:08- I've just realised that 4 Privet Drive is literally nothing like I imagined. I know, why would it be? But still. Disappointing.
21:10- Dobby's about to get punched. By me. FUCKING DOBBY.
21:13- I hate that Dobby is trying to stop Harry from getting all killed, but then he does something that makes Uncle Vernon likely to murder him. Also I just generally hate Dobby, have I mentioned that?
21:16- Aghhh, The Burrow is excellent! Also, Molly. Yes.
21:19- I'm well impressed with whoever taught the owls to fly with letters in their mouths. Veeeery impressed. Less so with whoever taught the kids to act.
21:22- Knockturn Alley is waaaaay more sinister than in the books. Also a little bit Dickensian London-y. I like it.
21:23: LOCKHAAAAAAART.
21:25- Draco seems very very angry for no real reason! WHERE IS THE DIRECTOR?!
21:27- Oh really? Did Harry just notice Lucius putting the diary in Ginny's cauldron? NOPE.
21:30- Harry could clearly also almost die in the flying car incident (which actually looks pretty cool) . I feel like Dobby reaaaally isn't thinking things through.
21:34- SNAAAAAPE! He's very good at angry, isn't he? *flaps*
21:36- Mandrakes cure those who have been Petrified? It's possible that could be important... Hehehehe
21:39- Ron's face at the Howler! Ridiculous!
21:41- Lockhart's golden suit is wooooonderful. His teaching, not so much. Obviously.
21:44- Nice of Fred and George to show concern for their slug vomming brother! Also, FUCKING MALFOY.
21:45- Aw, we just had a touching anti-discrimination moment! Boooo people who say mudblood.
21:47- Don't worry Harry, no one is going to die... It's only the second film, things haven't gotten that dark yet.
21:50- Dumbledore and McGonagall giving Lockhart the side-eye. Oh hell yes.
21:54- Does McGonagall give such a massive talk about the Chamber in the book? I don't remember that at all, really.
21:57- Ah, Quidditch again. What did I ever do to deserve this?
22:01- Oh nooooo, I forgot about Lockhart fixing Harry's arm. That is preeeetty gross on film. Oh, Lockhart.
22:03- DOBBY'S BLUDGER COULD PROBABLY HAVE KILLED HARRY POTTER. WHY IS DOBBY SO STUPID? And also pathetic. So so pathetic.
22:06- Hogwarts isn't safe! We definitely shouldn't send the kids home! It's really dangerous but whatevs!
22:09- Snape couldn't look more thrilled at being Lockhart's assistant. Oh, Snape.
22:12- I feel like the snake thing could have been done better... Like from two different sides or something? But hey, Harry's a Parselmouth, who knew?!
22:17- Dumbledore's office! Actually I quite like it- especially the assortment of random shit everywhere. (How does Harry not know what a Phoenix is?!)
22:19- DON'T LIE TO DUMBLES, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
22:22- But but but the Polyjuice potion is meant to change colour depending on who you put in it!
22:25- "Reading? I didn't know you could read." Yes. Humour.
22:29- Oh Myrtle. You add nothing to anyone's life, man.
22:31- Does Harry PHYSICALLY have to go into the diary? Wouldn't he be missed? (Ps don't trust anything that thinks when you can't see its brain)
22:35- "HAGRIIIIIIID!" Oh. Wow. And not in a good way.
22:38- The Petrified students look really really creepy. Like horrifying mannequins. HORRIFYING, I tell you.
22:41- Fudge's face is disappointing. In that he doesn't look like that in my brain at all. Damn, why don't they let me cast these things?
22:46- I am the resident spider catcher in my house, but there might be a few too many spiders for me. Also, Aragog. I cannot.
22:49- ARE THEY ON ME? I feel like they're on me. GET THEM OFF.
22:55- MUST Snape encourage Lockhart so? Must he? Why does everyone want Lockhart to die?
22:56- Oh yeah, that's why. Cowardface.
23:00- Oooh, the Chamber opening is pretty cool. I'm down with that.
23:02- "Heart of a lion, this one." Heh.
23:04- Harry has to go on alone then, does he? Must be why this is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
23:07- Ginny! Naughty. Sort of.
23:11- Why would Harry throw the Sorting Hat down and run? That seems incredibly foolish. Like, ridiculous.
23:17- Harry assumes he's dying, and yet he still really wants to get Ginny out and and he's so BRAVE. Oh Harry.
23:21- Oh, Dobby. You've been so useless this whole film. Please go away.
23:23- The first Dumbledore was a very good Dumbledore indeed.
23:26- House Elf magic is STRONG. There must be some kind of research that can go into the suppressing of a race that's stronger than you are...
23:30- Hagrid's standing ovation. Oh hells yeah. Also that's so not how the book ends, but ok.
So. Huh. Definitely not as bad as the first one. But no Christmas? What is even the point?
21:05- God, I think this ones longer than the last one, even. Never listen to my housemates when they say 'you can just watch one and two back to back'. Only if I've got FIVE HOURS to spare, guys.
21:08- I've just realised that 4 Privet Drive is literally nothing like I imagined. I know, why would it be? But still. Disappointing.
21:10- Dobby's about to get punched. By me. FUCKING DOBBY.
21:13- I hate that Dobby is trying to stop Harry from getting all killed, but then he does something that makes Uncle Vernon likely to murder him. Also I just generally hate Dobby, have I mentioned that?
21:16- Aghhh, The Burrow is excellent! Also, Molly. Yes.
21:19- I'm well impressed with whoever taught the owls to fly with letters in their mouths. Veeeery impressed. Less so with whoever taught the kids to act.
21:22- Knockturn Alley is waaaaay more sinister than in the books. Also a little bit Dickensian London-y. I like it.
21:23: LOCKHAAAAAAART.
21:25- Draco seems very very angry for no real reason! WHERE IS THE DIRECTOR?!
21:27- Oh really? Did Harry just notice Lucius putting the diary in Ginny's cauldron? NOPE.
21:30- Harry could clearly also almost die in the flying car incident (which actually looks pretty cool) . I feel like Dobby reaaaally isn't thinking things through.
21:34- SNAAAAAPE! He's very good at angry, isn't he? *flaps*
21:36- Mandrakes cure those who have been Petrified? It's possible that could be important... Hehehehe
21:39- Ron's face at the Howler! Ridiculous!
21:41- Lockhart's golden suit is wooooonderful. His teaching, not so much. Obviously.
21:44- Nice of Fred and George to show concern for their slug vomming brother! Also, FUCKING MALFOY.
21:45- Aw, we just had a touching anti-discrimination moment! Boooo people who say mudblood.
21:47- Don't worry Harry, no one is going to die... It's only the second film, things haven't gotten that dark yet.
21:50- Dumbledore and McGonagall giving Lockhart the side-eye. Oh hell yes.
21:54- Does McGonagall give such a massive talk about the Chamber in the book? I don't remember that at all, really.
21:57- Ah, Quidditch again. What did I ever do to deserve this?
22:01- Oh nooooo, I forgot about Lockhart fixing Harry's arm. That is preeeetty gross on film. Oh, Lockhart.
22:03- DOBBY'S BLUDGER COULD PROBABLY HAVE KILLED HARRY POTTER. WHY IS DOBBY SO STUPID? And also pathetic. So so pathetic.
22:06- Hogwarts isn't safe! We definitely shouldn't send the kids home! It's really dangerous but whatevs!
22:09- Snape couldn't look more thrilled at being Lockhart's assistant. Oh, Snape.
22:12- I feel like the snake thing could have been done better... Like from two different sides or something? But hey, Harry's a Parselmouth, who knew?!
22:17- Dumbledore's office! Actually I quite like it- especially the assortment of random shit everywhere. (How does Harry not know what a Phoenix is?!)
22:19- DON'T LIE TO DUMBLES, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
22:22- But but but the Polyjuice potion is meant to change colour depending on who you put in it!
22:25- "Reading? I didn't know you could read." Yes. Humour.
22:29- Oh Myrtle. You add nothing to anyone's life, man.
22:31- Does Harry PHYSICALLY have to go into the diary? Wouldn't he be missed? (Ps don't trust anything that thinks when you can't see its brain)
22:35- "HAGRIIIIIIID!" Oh. Wow. And not in a good way.
22:38- The Petrified students look really really creepy. Like horrifying mannequins. HORRIFYING, I tell you.
22:41- Fudge's face is disappointing. In that he doesn't look like that in my brain at all. Damn, why don't they let me cast these things?
22:46- I am the resident spider catcher in my house, but there might be a few too many spiders for me. Also, Aragog. I cannot.
22:49- ARE THEY ON ME? I feel like they're on me. GET THEM OFF.
22:55- MUST Snape encourage Lockhart so? Must he? Why does everyone want Lockhart to die?
22:56- Oh yeah, that's why. Cowardface.
23:00- Oooh, the Chamber opening is pretty cool. I'm down with that.
23:02- "Heart of a lion, this one." Heh.
23:04- Harry has to go on alone then, does he? Must be why this is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
23:07- Ginny! Naughty. Sort of.
23:11- Why would Harry throw the Sorting Hat down and run? That seems incredibly foolish. Like, ridiculous.
23:17- Harry assumes he's dying, and yet he still really wants to get Ginny out and and he's so BRAVE. Oh Harry.
23:21- Oh, Dobby. You've been so useless this whole film. Please go away.
23:23- The first Dumbledore was a very good Dumbledore indeed.
23:26- House Elf magic is STRONG. There must be some kind of research that can go into the suppressing of a race that's stronger than you are...
23:30- Hagrid's standing ovation. Oh hells yeah. Also that's so not how the book ends, but ok.
So. Huh. Definitely not as bad as the first one. But no Christmas? What is even the point?
Thursday, 17 April 2014
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: (Almost) Live Blog
I'm going to Harry Potter Land (totally not it's actual name) next week, and I have not seen the films. To me, this seems like a problem, and one I'm going to remedy starting tonight by watching The Philosopher's Stone- a film I have seen a couple of times, and which I pretty much ate. So this is going to be fun!
So. FIRSTLY there will be Harry Potter spoilers. So go away now if you've somehow missed out on this cultural phenomenon. Secondly! It's an almost live blog cause I just going to record all my thoughts here and post it once the film's done because the other way is effort. To be clear- this is the only way I'm going to get through the films without killing things. Hold on to me, internet.
21:18- Ah good, it's starting. *tries not to relive bitter 12 year old experience* *fails* That's still bloody good music though.
21:21- "I would trust Hagrid with my life." Awwwwww, yay!
21:22- You don't maybe want to put baby Harry in a basket? Something he won't be able to crawl away from really easily? Nope? Ok then.
21:26- Wow, Dudley's a really terrible actor. BLOODY KIDS.
21:29- Why is Uncle Vernon so anti-Harry going to Hogwarts though? Gets him away from them, and it's surely difficult to deny magic exists when there are zillions of letters zipping down your chimney!
21:33- Ughhhhh, line delivery. So so so bad. WHY CAN'T CHILDREN ACT?!
21:38- KESTER! I mean, Quirrell! We know all about HIM, of course. *knowing face*
21:41- There's no safer place than Gringotts to keep stuff except Hogwarts, huh? That could be important...
21:44- Olivander seems very much like a man who should not be left alone with children.
21:49- A lot of the soundtrack seems fairly unnecessary. Maybe because there's NO SOUNDTRACK IN THE BOOKS.
21:51- Ah, the Weasleys. BUT WAIT- shouldn't Harry have already met Malfoy in Diagon Alley? SHOULDN'T HE?
21:54- Fucking Emma Watson's face and also voice. Why are they all so posh? None of these are even actual accents anyone has.
21:56- Hogwarts does look quite cool though.
21:58- Tiny Malfoy has hella charisma. No wonder I loved him when I was teeny. Also, Neville has a real accent! Of course he does.
22:00- WHERE IS THE SORTING HAT SONG?! WHY DOES HERMIONE GET SORTED FIRST?! WHY IS THE SORTING HAT SO CHATTY?!
22:04- Holy shit, the ghosts are terrible. I would honestly rather they had left them out. Fucking awful.
22:09- I would like to take Alan Rickman's potions class. Oh yes. Mmmmmhmmm.
22:13- "Mount it. And grip it tight. You don't want to be sliding off the end." OOER I thought this was a children's film.
22:15- Good God, the flying is even worse than the ghosts. How OLD is this film now? (Really really old?)
22:19- Even their screams are unconvincing. I wonder if the director would rather have worked with lumps of clay...
22:22- "You catch this Potter, and we win." That is a blatant misunderstanding of the Quidditch rules. BLATANT.
22:24- Why does Seamus keep blowing things up? He isn't Neville!
22:27- I was about to say the bathroom bit was ok, but then Harry literally became an animated character for a minute there. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
22:29- Snape and Harry need to stop eye fucking. This is just uncomfortable.
22:31- They literally just acted like they didn't know what was in a broomstick shaped parcel. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO STUPID?
22:33- There's a girl on the Slytherin Quidditch team. This is clearly bullshit. Also, fuck Quidditch.
22:36- Gosh, aren't Slytherin EVIL. Does everyone know how evil Slytherin are? So evil they even talk like villains.
22:38- Quidditch is really boring. Hey, shouldn't we have been to Hagrid's house by now? Hagrid's going to be forgotten a lot by the movies, isn't he?
22:41: It's snowing! That means it must be Christmas! Even though it never snows in the UK at Christmas but NEVER MIND.
22:44- No spells to keep you out of the Restricted section of the library then. Just a lock anyone can open. Ok then.
22:46- Alan Rickman's face, man. Alan Rickman's face.
22:49- The Mirror of Erised makes me feel wet in the eye area. Damn. (Unfortunately James Potter looks about 40 in the mirror when he was about 21 when he died. But, then again, JK is bad at maths...)
22:53- Ah good, a mere 50 minutes to go and our first mention of the Philosopher's Stone. Amazing pacing.
22:57- RON DOESNT EVEN GO ON THE RIDICULOUS FOREST DETENTION. Neville has been so crazy written out of this, when he's actually the best. Sort it out.
23:00- Harry and Draco alone together in the woods must be the stuff of fan fictions (wet) dreams
23:07- Do they even go to McGonagall to ask for help in the book? Cause... That seems unlikely.
23:08- Oh look, Neville! Oh yeah. He's a character.
23:16- Damn iPad went all funky. Never mind. WIZARD CHESS. It's pretty epic. I thought they missed out the keys, but it's possible that they miss out the potions instead. DAMMIT.
23:18- "NO, YOU CAN'T! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!" Please stop being terrible at acting, Emma. Please.
23:20- Right, so, Ron has to stay behind because, unconscious; and Hermione has to stay behind because... Ron needs a mummy? HERMIONE IS NO ONE'S MUMMY, BITCHES.
23:21- Dammit. No potions. FFS.
23:22- Oh Quirrell. You're pretty hot.
23:24- Ewwwwwwww, Voldiehead. So not pretty. I would have kept the turban on, tbh.
23:26- "There is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it." I like it!
23:27- Voldiedust. Pretty weird. Also Harry has basically just killed his first man?
23:31- Ah, Dumbledore. The perfect blend of sincerity and silliness. 'Alas, earwax', indeed.
23:34- Aw, Neville's little face just hit me right in the feels. NEVILLE WON THE HOUSE CUP, NO ONE ELSE. (Ah, the days when the House Cup mattered...)
23:37- No drama, no suspense, no better than I thought it was going to be... And yet it still tugged at my emotions. Damn me and my damn feelings. Damn everything.
So. FIRSTLY there will be Harry Potter spoilers. So go away now if you've somehow missed out on this cultural phenomenon. Secondly! It's an almost live blog cause I just going to record all my thoughts here and post it once the film's done because the other way is effort. To be clear- this is the only way I'm going to get through the films without killing things. Hold on to me, internet.
21:18- Ah good, it's starting. *tries not to relive bitter 12 year old experience* *fails* That's still bloody good music though.
21:21- "I would trust Hagrid with my life." Awwwwww, yay!
21:22- You don't maybe want to put baby Harry in a basket? Something he won't be able to crawl away from really easily? Nope? Ok then.
21:26- Wow, Dudley's a really terrible actor. BLOODY KIDS.
21:29- Why is Uncle Vernon so anti-Harry going to Hogwarts though? Gets him away from them, and it's surely difficult to deny magic exists when there are zillions of letters zipping down your chimney!
21:33- Ughhhhh, line delivery. So so so bad. WHY CAN'T CHILDREN ACT?!
21:38- KESTER! I mean, Quirrell! We know all about HIM, of course. *knowing face*
21:41- There's no safer place than Gringotts to keep stuff except Hogwarts, huh? That could be important...
21:44- Olivander seems very much like a man who should not be left alone with children.
21:49- A lot of the soundtrack seems fairly unnecessary. Maybe because there's NO SOUNDTRACK IN THE BOOKS.
21:51- Ah, the Weasleys. BUT WAIT- shouldn't Harry have already met Malfoy in Diagon Alley? SHOULDN'T HE?
21:54- Fucking Emma Watson's face and also voice. Why are they all so posh? None of these are even actual accents anyone has.
21:56- Hogwarts does look quite cool though.
21:58- Tiny Malfoy has hella charisma. No wonder I loved him when I was teeny. Also, Neville has a real accent! Of course he does.
22:00- WHERE IS THE SORTING HAT SONG?! WHY DOES HERMIONE GET SORTED FIRST?! WHY IS THE SORTING HAT SO CHATTY?!
22:04- Holy shit, the ghosts are terrible. I would honestly rather they had left them out. Fucking awful.
22:09- I would like to take Alan Rickman's potions class. Oh yes. Mmmmmhmmm.
22:13- "Mount it. And grip it tight. You don't want to be sliding off the end." OOER I thought this was a children's film.
22:15- Good God, the flying is even worse than the ghosts. How OLD is this film now? (Really really old?)
22:19- Even their screams are unconvincing. I wonder if the director would rather have worked with lumps of clay...
22:22- "You catch this Potter, and we win." That is a blatant misunderstanding of the Quidditch rules. BLATANT.
22:24- Why does Seamus keep blowing things up? He isn't Neville!
22:27- I was about to say the bathroom bit was ok, but then Harry literally became an animated character for a minute there. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
22:29- Snape and Harry need to stop eye fucking. This is just uncomfortable.
22:31- They literally just acted like they didn't know what was in a broomstick shaped parcel. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO STUPID?
22:33- There's a girl on the Slytherin Quidditch team. This is clearly bullshit. Also, fuck Quidditch.
22:36- Gosh, aren't Slytherin EVIL. Does everyone know how evil Slytherin are? So evil they even talk like villains.
22:38- Quidditch is really boring. Hey, shouldn't we have been to Hagrid's house by now? Hagrid's going to be forgotten a lot by the movies, isn't he?
22:41: It's snowing! That means it must be Christmas! Even though it never snows in the UK at Christmas but NEVER MIND.
22:44- No spells to keep you out of the Restricted section of the library then. Just a lock anyone can open. Ok then.
22:46- Alan Rickman's face, man. Alan Rickman's face.
22:49- The Mirror of Erised makes me feel wet in the eye area. Damn. (Unfortunately James Potter looks about 40 in the mirror when he was about 21 when he died. But, then again, JK is bad at maths...)
22:53- Ah good, a mere 50 minutes to go and our first mention of the Philosopher's Stone. Amazing pacing.
22:57- RON DOESNT EVEN GO ON THE RIDICULOUS FOREST DETENTION. Neville has been so crazy written out of this, when he's actually the best. Sort it out.
23:00- Harry and Draco alone together in the woods must be the stuff of fan fictions (wet) dreams
23:07- Do they even go to McGonagall to ask for help in the book? Cause... That seems unlikely.
23:08- Oh look, Neville! Oh yeah. He's a character.
23:16- Damn iPad went all funky. Never mind. WIZARD CHESS. It's pretty epic. I thought they missed out the keys, but it's possible that they miss out the potions instead. DAMMIT.
23:18- "NO, YOU CAN'T! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!" Please stop being terrible at acting, Emma. Please.
23:20- Right, so, Ron has to stay behind because, unconscious; and Hermione has to stay behind because... Ron needs a mummy? HERMIONE IS NO ONE'S MUMMY, BITCHES.
23:21- Dammit. No potions. FFS.
23:22- Oh Quirrell. You're pretty hot.
23:24- Ewwwwwwww, Voldiehead. So not pretty. I would have kept the turban on, tbh.
23:26- "There is no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it." I like it!
23:27- Voldiedust. Pretty weird. Also Harry has basically just killed his first man?
23:31- Ah, Dumbledore. The perfect blend of sincerity and silliness. 'Alas, earwax', indeed.
23:34- Aw, Neville's little face just hit me right in the feels. NEVILLE WON THE HOUSE CUP, NO ONE ELSE. (Ah, the days when the House Cup mattered...)
23:37- No drama, no suspense, no better than I thought it was going to be... And yet it still tugged at my emotions. Damn me and my damn feelings. Damn everything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)