Thursday, 1 May 2014

"'I hope they won't quarrel in the hunting season, or say unpleasant things to each other at the dining table: rows always upset a man's digestion.'"

Ah, another month, another readalong. And what a readalong it shall be, nay, what a readalong it is already! The intrigue! The drama! The surprising readability for its time! THIS:
"Turning to him with a sudden passion in her manner... she fell on her knees at her feet. 
'No, Lucy; no, no!' he cried vehemently, 'not here, not here!'"
 I mean... Even in CONTEXT, that was seriously dodgy, and by dodgy I mean ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR A BLOW JOB IN PUBLIC, SIR M?! (He probably actually is. Nobility and all that). I want to say more about this book, but really my brain is just stuck on that one bit and I'm wondering if Braddon knew how dodgy it sounded and OMG I love it when Proper Literature involves unintentionally rude stuff. There's even one in Pride and Prejudice, if I remember rightly.

 SO. Can we talk about Lucy's secret, please? In my brain, I believe that I have it all figured out, but if I have then Braddon has kind of spunked* her whole story in the first four chapters and is that likely? Possibly not. But let me tell you my thoughts anyway- Lucy is George Tallboy's wife and she has a child that she has either left somewhere or who has died and she's faked her own death or at least put an announcement in The Times and... That's basically all I've got so far but it seems plausible, right? It might not make complete sense, but eh, it's the Victorians, so.
Speaking of which... The cousin thing. Guys, I feel like I need to defend England here, or possibly just,  I don't know, MYSELF because marrying your first cousin is still totally legal and I'm definitely not sure it should be because NO. Too much of your genetic material is the same, man! I'm not exactly rooting for Phoebe and Luke, but I thought they were at least ok people until Luke wanted to steal a jewel and then Phoebe DID steal with the intent to blackmail and just NO. I would say that it was their shared lineage that's messing them up, but I'm probably thinking of the children they definitely shouldn't have.

I think I love Robert Audley and that's pretty much all I have to say about that.
(Other than, isn't it CONVENIENT that he knows George? TOO convenient, if you ask me...)

Sorry not sorry for the Skarsgard heavy post. I am EXCITED for Lady Audley's ACTUAL secret, and hopefully more Robert because hey, he's awesome and I would marry him.

17 comments:

  1. SECRETY SECRETS. I hope it's more twisty than that. Although I was seriously buying the "oh, his wife died" thing. And was psyched 'cause I was like "Oh HEY. I thought LUCY was his wife, but Braddon faked us out by having us think that and then boom, dead wife. Clever Braddon."

    So I kind of hope Lucy ISN'T his wife. But...I think she is now. Damnit. That would've been really funny, Braddon.

    The blowjob scene is so dubious. The P&P thing you're thinking of (I think) is some line about balls. Doug loves it. A lot.

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    1. Well MAYBE Lucy isn't his wife? It just seems like an awfully big coincidence if she isn't! 'oh look, our circumstances are exactly the same only opposite but we're nothing to do with each other, really!' But, you know, I haven't read the second part yet, so maybe.

      It is! It is about balls! I feel like I MUST have written it down somewhere because come on. How could I not?! BALLS.

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    2. Also, doesn't Mr Bennet say that Lydia will never be satisfied until she has exposed herself in public, or words to that effect?

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    3. I'm pretty sure that happens too, yes! Ah, it's just the BEST.

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  2. Well, at least he didn't "ejaculate" his sentence. *wink* But, yeah, that was some scene.

    I think you're right about Lucy. That's just my feeling right now.

    Luke and Phebes. Can you imagine their kids? They'd be little Dickensian pick pockets.

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    1. It was just so... I can't even... Like, how could a person read that and NOT think blowjob?! I literally don't understand what happened otherwise! So hilarious.

      Ugh, Luke and Phoebe. I cannot. If they get a pub, they'll probably be like the Thenardiers from Les Mis. Which is not an ok way to be!!

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  3. I am SO ASHAMED of myself for not making some comment on the 'not here, not here!' dirtiness. I feel like I've let the side down. Please accept my apologies, and my humble promise that I will be on the lookout for Victorian innuendo to snort over from now on.

    I would also like to congratulate you for actually managing to *cough* insert the words blowjob AND spunked into a post on a classic novel. I was proud of myself for managing a bit of swearing and a penis reference (my dad and grandparents read my posts so it's always fun to let my inner sailor run free every now and again, just to see what happens), but you... well, I bow to your superiority in this field.

    THANK YOU YES ROBERT IS AWESOME.

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    1. Ahahaha, insert... I was pretty proud of myself (I believe it might be the first time I've used blowjob on here, anyway!) and and I DO like to use the word spunked when not relating to the actual, um, substance. VICTORIAN INNUENDO IS THE BEST. Mainly because I assume they don't know they're doing it (HA) when actually, you know, maybe they did! (Probably not)

      I WILL MARRY ROBERT JUST YOU WATCH!

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  4. I too have MUCH love for Robert. And was also fooled by Braddon's bold use of very obvious misleading, as I know also think that our Lady Audley has baby-and-husband-type secrets.

    BUT OH THE RAPSCALLIONS. I just can't help it. I love Phoebe and Luke because there's nothing I fancy more than a good Victorian villain :)

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    1. I think possibly there should be an award for the use of 'rapscallions' in this comment. Also YES Victorian villains are awesome... but... LUKE IS SO STUPID. You can just TELL he's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, y'know? I like my villains devious and brilliant. :)

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    2. Rapscallions is the absolute best word. Just, yes. I can't deal with Luke and Phoebe because of the (just realised) aforementioned in the comments relation to the Thenardiers from Les Miserables who are NOT just comic relief and who ARE actually just pure evil. Basically.

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  5. Can you please put together an entire post of Victorian lit writing vaguely and not-so-vaguely sexual scenes? I would appreciate this.

    SECRETY SECRETS! I will be able to play next week when I actually do the reading.

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    1. Alley, my love, I would like nothing more than to create such a post. I will collect sexual scenes from Victorian novels starting RIGHT NOW. (Seriously, don't encourage me. I can't even read books where the main character is called fanny because COME ON, what are you doing to me?! [that's fanny in the English usage. It's less funny in American.])

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    2. I ENCOURAGE YOU. I would love such a post. It would make me giggle. You can break it up into sections like "here are a bunch of blow job scenes."

      And I would enjoy a whole bunch of people called fanny and I know that's way dirtier in your land. Which sort of makes it extra funny cos it still sounds all innocent over here and something that grandmas say.

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    3. Aghhhhh, I can't even deal with the idea of a granny saying fanny to me! Like do you have your fanny pack... I just can't! Too too hilarious.

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    4. Is "fanny" super dirty over there? Do you guys not have fanny packs, those delightful around-the-waist purses?

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  6. I totally forgot about Robert when I was writing about these four chapters, and now that I'm almost done with next week's reading I think Rob is JUST the best. All my notes are about how great Rob is.

    Also, I DO enjoy when you do a Skars-themed GIF post.

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