"'Why, I can't help smiling at people, and speaking prettily to them. I know I'm no *better* than the rest of the world, but I can't help it if I'm *pleasanter*.'"

It's Wednesday night and I'm tired and have a limited amount of time to write this, so let's make it snappy!

Not... That kind of snappy.

Question 1: Lady Audley has totally murdered George, right? At the very least she knows where he is, but she's murdered him, maybe? It was total genius to send that telegram to her dad to tell him to tell anyone who asks that George has gone back to Australia (how are you going to prove that didn't happen in the 19th century? It's not like George has stopped updating Victorian Facebook) and totally annoying that Robert being on the case makes her faint because FFS we don't just faint all the time! What is it with women in books?!

Question 2: Who is the narrator? I suspect this isn't even going to be a thing, and the narrator is just calling Lucy 'My Lady' out of respect, but wouldn't it be cool if this was being narrated by some servant or whatever, and at the end they're all like 'and it was I, the Butler, who discovered all the things!' 

This probably isn't going to be a thing.

Question 3: How excited am I that Robert is kind of turning out to be the hero of the piece? I can actually answer this one, it's very. Even though it means he has to do some work, I think it's sweet that Robert wants justice, or an answer, or something, for his one true love. I'm just going to gloss over that bit where he said he'd lock up his daughters til they were suitable for marriage and then basically sell them because UGH, no Robert.

Question 4: Can we somehow rescue Phoebe from her MURDERY CRAZY HUSBAND? I'm not sure that those two haven't passed out of the story forever, except actually Phoebe will probably be back because of her creepy twin-ness and the fact that she's been compared to a ghost already. FORESHADOWAMUNDO?

Question 5: "'You think her sensitive because she has soft little white hands, and big blue eyes with long lashes, and all manner of affected, fantastical ways, which you stupid men find fascinating.'" Is Alicia now my personal hero? Is this true for all pretty women all the time? Should we not judge people by their appearances but by other stuff instead? 

Question 6: "The lazy bent of his mind, which prevented him from thinking of half-a-dozen things at a time, and not thinking thoroughly of any one of them, as is the manner of your more energetic people, made him remarkably clear-sighted upon any point to which he ever gave his serious attention." Um... Am I Robert Audley? Because I sort of kind of might think like that a little bit, sometimes. Shit.

OK, I'm sure you'll all have many more interesting things to say about this week's chapters, and I shall be excited to read them all, but for now, I am out. Good day to you all, I say, and try not to marry your cousins or get hat feathers in your eyes.