"'She knew how to keep her own secrets in spite of her innocent ways and her curly hair.'"

Blessed folk of the readalong! I am back! My deepest apologies for missing last week, I was busy plotting nefarious murders investigating missing friends and whatnot because clearly, I'm more of a Robert than a Lucy.* Especially if this is anything to go by:

"Sir Michael Audley made that mistake which is very commonly made by easy-going, well-to-do observers, who have no occasion to look below the surface. He mistook laziness for incapacity. He thought that because his nephew was idle, he must necessarily be stupid. He concluded that if Robert did not distinguish himself it was because he could not."

I DO NOT DISTINGUISH MYSELF BECAUSE I AM LAZY. This is my biggest flaw (probably). I'm not saying I'm the geniusest genius, but I am better than the minimum wage job I currently have. I am feeling more and more akin to Robert every week (that's Robert with the amazing job that he doesn't have to work at. But eh.)

ENOUGH ABOUT ME AND MY TROUBLED LIFE. I can't even remember what happened last week, because of that not writing it down thing, but let's go back to the start of this week's section... Ah. Ok. Can we please talk about women and this book? Obviously it's written by a woman, but MEB seems to be the kind of woman who doesn't like other women very much. There's the evil Lucy, the fab but unmarriable Alicia, the perfect Clara Tallboys who, let's face it, looks like a man, and... That's it. Plus, there's Robert, her mouthpiece, who has decided that he doesn't like women very much (DUH) and says shit that I can't tell if I like very much or not, like this:

"To call them the weaker sex is to utter a hideous mockery. They are the stronger sex, the noisier, the more persevering, the most self-assertive sex. They want freedom of opinion, variety of occupation, do they? Let them be lawyers, doctors, preachers, teachers, soldiers, legislators- anything they like- but let them be quiet- if they can."

Because like... Yay to women being capable of such jobs, but boo to us having to sit down and shut up just because we're allowed to do them? Robert goes off on a few rants like this in this section, and with every one, I can feel my love for him withering and dying, which is cool because he's still like this with George:

Oh, poor George.

Plotwise- Robert is pretty good at the sleuthing, I have to say. He's traced Lucy back preeeeetty far, and she's basically admitted everything to him with her face and is now going to have him sectioned, which seems like a cool plan (or, sorry, a 'cool plan') AND THEN we get to see things from Lucy's POV. DO WE LIKE THIS? I think I do- it's interesting that, although she's clearly a villain (DUH) there's a definite sense that the things she's done, at least in her mind, haven't been extremely premeditated and have been spur of the moment decisions for her own advancement. Spur of the moment like pushing George down the well? I THINK SO.

ALTHOUGH- even though we clearly all believe this is definitely true, the way she talks about murder in her own brain does make me the tiniest bit doubtful that this is what has happened (I know!) because she still seems so horrified by it. Pre-burning the pub down, that is.

Let's talk about that for a sec- can we make predictions? I think Luke is totally going to burn to death (side note on Luke: How much is he a wife-rapist? He totally is. I am so sad for Phoebe and that is why I long for his death) while Robert will escape by heroically smashing through a window and falling to the ground with barely a scratch on him. Or he'll go blind and then Clara/Alicia will love him so much that his sight returns. Whatever.

FINAL ANGER:

"Poor little creature; poor unhappy little golden-haired sinner; the battle between us seems terribly unfair. Why doesn't she run away while there is still time?"

Yes, Robert. The battle between you and a woman you suspect is capable of murder is incredibly unfair. Why don't YOU run away now, before she MURDERS YOU? Moron.

*Typing this has actually amused me quite a bit because my two managers are called Rob and Lucy and I've only just realised this. In a real life scenario... I'm probably still more of a Robert, to be fair.