Tuesday 6 March 2012

The Problem I Have With Mad Men

There are a lot of things I like about Mad Men. It's so pretty to look at, 1960s gender politics are closely studied, you get to think about the origins of advertising and all of it's evils... I simultaneously like and dislike the female characters- I feel for Betty's hopeless desperation, and her memories of all the things she could have had, whilst also being disgusted with her for the way she treats her children; I love Peggy's work ethic, constant advancement in the workplace, but wish she would stand up for herself a bit more; and I love Joan's... well, I more or less just fancy Joan, but that's fairly par for the course. I like to watch it, but I don't think of it, in any way, as a guide for how to live your life.

So, there's one fairly important element of Mad Men that I deliberately haven't mentioned, and that's, obviously, Don Draper. I mean, what can you say about him? I've honestly spent the last four seasons (all watched over summer 2010, hence why I am gagging for the new season to start later on this month) being confused about whether I'm supposed to love him or hate him, want to slap him for feel sorry for him. He's far too complex a character to say that he's wholly evil, but there's very little confusion over the way he treats women- he has no respect for his wife, he's interested only in affairs with 'the smart ones', and when it comes time to marry again, well, rather than asking the woman he's actually been seeing for almost a whole series, he's basically going to ask a secretary. Who he doesn't know. Who we don't know. I can't lie, it was an interesting (although not, I suppose, wholly unexpected) plot twist, but it spoke volumes about the way Don Draper lives his life. Undemanding women are the only ones he'll make a commitment to, and that commitment won't really mean much anyway.

So here's the thing. I think Don Draper can just go about and do his own thing, and I'll watch it and roll my eyes and dream of much better men that probably exist in the world somewhere (it not being the sixties anymore, I have to hope there are more men that aren't like Don Draper than that are). But here's the other thing. In this month's Cosmo (why I'm reading Cosmo again even though I hate it is a whole other issue, but let's just say that my sister bought it, and I was bored for like the ten minutes it took to read it...) there was a little section about TV shows that are coming back and what they thought might happen in them (Cosmo: bringing you the really important information) and for Mad Men, it said 'Don Draper comes to London and goes out with us. In our dreams!' or some words to that effect. And I realise that this is Cosmo saying these things and not really any publication I have to worry about, but still, I was like 'HUH?!'

Because really? Do you really want to go out with someone who basically hates women? I mean, it's like he likes them, but to be honest, the way he treats them is not something that anyone should look for in a relationship. If you're smart and interesting and amazing, he'll sleep with you, obviously, but when it comes to actually having a relationship with you, he'll run away back to some really really boring girl. And hey, boring girls! Even if he asks you to marry him (which he will, because you're unthreatening to his disgusting masculinity) it's not like that actually means anything, because as soon as the opportunity presents itself, he'll be between the legs of another interesting woman. God, what a dreamboat! Sure, he's really really really good looking (and actually I have a lot of time for Jon Hamm, and he seems like a really nice guy in real life, who isn't afraid to take the piss out of himself) and you know, he has money and status and all, but is it really worth living a life of quiet desperation in the suburbs; or being used and abused by, basically, a giant dirtbag?

I realise that I'm definitely taking this too seriously, and this is, after all, just a tv programme, but it just worries me that there are women who might think that Don Draper would be a good person to have a relationship with. In the whole of tv, I can hardly think of a character who would be a worse partner, other than, possibly, Tony Soprano; but he's essentially a sociopath- what's Don's excuse? Maybe he's too drunk and smoke filled all the time to think clearly about what he wants, or maybe he's just a prick- who can say? All I can say is, I doubt that a relationship with him could ever be fulfilling in the way anyone would want a relationship to be, and so, can we please all stop fancying Don Draper?

10 comments:

  1. I think I was able to make it through the pilot, but just barely. I had my worst job ever (receptionist/assistant at an investment bank) under a guy who idolized Mad Men, and he was a world class asshole. So when I saw the show, I saw how the office I worked in functioned, and it just brought back bad memories.

    Yeah, the women are treated badly because "that's how it was" but how about then we talk about a time when it's NOT that way? I don't know. I'm not saying we should not examine the past and learn from it, but nothing appeals to me about that show, least of all Don Draper.

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    1. See, that's the thing- I don't think the show in itself is a bad thing (and, in fact, I do enjoy it) but people's reactions to it are what bothers me- like with women thinking that Don Draper being their boyfriend would be a good thing, or that office environments like that should still exist (sorry about your horrible job!)

      Also, when have women not been treated badly?! I just, I still think Mad Men is beautiful and has some important things to say, and I love how Peggy has climbed the career ladder in spite of being a woman, and even though she's the only one up there. So it's really not all bad! I think most of the trouble lies in how people interpret it, and men watch it and think it's ok to go 'I wish it was still like this ho ho' and women watch it and go 'man, I want that guy to treat me like shit.' Which I think says a lot more about people than it does about Mad Men

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  2. First up, I love Joan because how can you not. Although I hate her husband. So much.

    No, I do not understand those that love Don Draper. I mean, I love Jon Hamm so I'm *hoping* that's where the Don Draper love Cosmo is talking about comes from.

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    1. Dude! I love Joan! And her husband, I'm just like grrrr, how can no one have mentioned that he raped her ever again?! Although I'd imagine that was a very common thing in those days, and something that nobody even thought about (and wasn't even a crime- we've come a long way baby!) I kind of love Roger and Joan, I'm not gonna lie!

      I don't know... maybe they did just mean 'because Jon Hamm is hot' but it's still not ok to want Don Draper to be your boyfriend! It's like begging to be treated like crap!

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    2. I love Roger and Joan! Way more than Roger and Don's old secretary. I hope Joan's husband gets blown up. I sort of wish it whenever his name is mentioned. and by "sorta" I mean I yell it out loud at the screen. Because I'm mature.

      Even Sal would be a better boyfriend. At least he could provide fashion advice.

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    3. Ha, excellent! I think there's a year gap from the last series to the new one, so he may well get blown up- Here's hoping! I still can't believe Roger left his wife for that nasty secretary but he wouldn't for Joan (although Joan probably wouldn't have wanted him to... but still...)

      Aw, Sal. I miss him! I wish he'd stayed and stupid Pete had left!

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    4. I'm pretty sure the girls who say they wish they had Don Draper as a boyfriend purely mean they want a boyfriend who looks like Jon Hamm, wears a really nice suit and exudes debonair charm.

      But then again, there were all those girls who tweeted about how Chris *forgot his last name and can't be bothered googling, Rhianna's ex* could hit them if it meant having him as a boyfriend. So who knows, there are some insane girls out there who do not understand the crap that pours from their mouths...

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    5. I mean, I hope they just mean that they fancy Jon Hamm, because otherwise I just throw my hands up and, you know, weep. And that Chris Brown (Brown, dear ;) ) stuff just literally made me want to VOMIT. Like, a lot. Ugh.

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  3. Oh what fun to chat about Mad Men with enlightened, intelligent women! I don't have cable, so I get my Mad Men in large doses when I check out the DVDs from the library. I've just been on a Mad Men frenzy, watching the last season.

    I'm with you--how could any woman want to date Don Draper? He does treat women like shit, but I think instead of hating them, it's because he's weak...he doesn't want to be a woman who is stronger and more intelligent than he is.

    Really, women lusting after men like Don Draper (and yes, I do think it's not just Jon Hamm, but actually Don Draper!) are not that different than women and girls who worship Edward from Twilight: http://mariesbookgarden.blogspot.com/2010/09/10-reasons-i-hate-twilight.html

    I just wish that Peggy and Joan would stand up to the assholes together instead of Joan being furious with Peggy when she tried to help her.

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    1. I think you're probably right about him being weak rather than all misogynistic. He just... like, just when I think that he might be able to have a proper relationship (like with the lovely psychiatrist lady) he runs away and asks a girl he doesn't even know to marry him! It's so frustrating. Also, YES for Peggy and Joan teaming up. Just YES. Although I think their reactions are pretty much accurate to the shit that went down before, say, second wave feminism.

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