The Monkalong, Part Three: "Pusillanimity" and Other Words I Should Probably Know...

Apparently we're still monking (auto-correct just changed that to mocking, to which I say... Well, ok then) along and I wouldn't say I'm losing the will to live because of this book, but it didn't help my desire for living when combined with the raging tonsillitis I'm dealing with this week (woo, autumn! Damn everything.) HOWEVER, it would be churlish to be too mean about this week's section since no one went on about things that were wholly irrelevant to the plot for 10,000 pages so technically things are looking up!

I mean, apart from the fact that a deal has been made with the devil (literally, the devil) so that a Monk can rape a teenager who may or may not be his sister. That's possibly not such a good aspect of this book. And may be one of the worst things I've heard. Like ever. In life.

UGH, what even happened in this section? Ok, so Ambrosio like really likes sex. Like really really really he has found his favourite thing in the whole world, and that favourite thing is sex.

Obviously, he's already getting bored of Matilda because men are inconstant whilst women are clingy, but that doesn't stop more of the sexing, "The luxurious and unbounded excesses of the former night were renewed, and they separated not until the bell rang for matins." because obviously he's going to do it all night now that he understands the difference between men and women's bodies. Obviously.

Especially creepy (and creepiness is kind of the hallmark of their relationship) between Matilda and Ambrosio is the way in which she so easily offers to get him Antonia, as if getting him the woman he desires is the way to keep him. HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT, MATILDA (but also, like, don't arrange another lady's rape, mmmmkay?) Obviously Matilda is a devil-worshipper (or, more accurately, someone who is IN CHARGE of the devil) because as a strong and intelligent woman, she obviously has the power of hell behind her because why wouldn't she? Of course, Ambrosio doesn't find her intelligence sexually attractive, cause YAWN: "Every moment convinced him of the astonishing powers of her mind; but what she gained in the opinion of the man, she lost with interest in the affection of the lover" and even makes a sweeping generalisation about all women that doesn't make me want to stab things at all: "Pity is a sentiment so natural, so appropriate to the female character, that it is scarcely a merit for a woman to possess it, but to be without it is a previous crime."

I meaaaan... Generalise much, Lewis? Goddamn 18th Century with its 18th Century ideas about women and class and goddamn everything.

Let's see, what else... Well, Leonella! She got married! To which all I can say is, you go girl! I guess. I mean, it's not exactly the MOST romantic union since she kind of bought the guy and all, but since this book has taught us nothing if not that sex is the most important thing, then at least Leonella isn't an old lady virgin anymore. And Agnes probably isn't dead! You know, yet. I can't tell if this book is about to have a fairytale ending where the REALLY bad guys (the monk and the devil-monk-lady) go to hell and Agnes and whatshisname and Antonia and thatguy get to go off and get married, or if, essentially, like a Shakespearean tragedy, everyone's going to die in the end. I honestly don't know, isn't it exciting?! (no).

Of course, the bloody nun ghost could just as easily come back and kill them all through lack of sleep, WHO CAN SAY?! No one. Except us in a couple of weeks, I guess.

The Monkalong, Part Two: "though all are not able to write books, all conceive themselves able to judge them."

Heyyyyy, did I miss the party?

Literally what our parties would look like if you added laptops

My deepest apologies for the late readalong post, I had an issue where, immediately after reading last weeks chapters I REALLY wanted to read the next but thought it was too early, and then found I didn't have time to read them to actually make the post happen on Thursday so... The moral of the story is, read when you bloody feel like it, I guess.

NOW. It may just have been me, but this week's chapters made me want to die a little bit. I mean... Don Raymond, Marquis De Las Cisternas. You may have managed to seduce Agnes, but did the woman ever hear you tell a story? Because, damn. "Hi, I'm Ray and I'm going to tell you how I seduced Agnes but FIRST let me tell you FOR A WHOLE CHAPTER how I came to meet her by telling you this whole other story and" oh my god dude, literally no one cares. Like, no one. At all.

I mean, ok I get it. I do. Matthew Lewis is doing his whole sensational thing, and what's more sensational than a murdery robbery plot? (that's what was going on there, right?) Nothing like a massive narrative deviation to make you not give a shit about a book, that's what I say! But anyway. We got back to Agnes and Ray and I'm starting to think that Lewis had this whole life issue where older women were kiiiiind of into him

Maggie Smith MUST be into him, she's only human

Not only does he have Leonella ready to give up her old lady virginity for... that guy (honestly, I'm paying a lot of attention to this!), he also has Agnes's aunt ready to jump Ray's bones because of the super genius plan of his to pay her loads of attention because he wants to marry her niece. Of course, Donna Rodolpha is clearly insane, and it's this emotional women's shit (how much emotional women's shit IS there in this book, exactly?!) that finishes her off: "Five months had already elapsed since, in an excess of passion, she broke a blood vessel and expired in the course of a few hours."

SHE GOT SO UPSET SHE BROKE A BLOOD VESSEL, is that even a real thing?! Like, come on dude! 

Anyway. Agnes is reportedly dead, and I'm all like, 'well, IS she though?' but my scepticism is kind of broken by the fact that surely, SURELY a nun can't ignore a direct order from the pope. There are probably all kinds of things being revealed in the poems but I obviously can't read them because why the hell should I, and oh my god can we please just get back to the Monk and his descent into sin please? Thank you, Matthew. Cheers. 

Comic Books I Have Devoured in the Last Year, For Posterity

I feel like all I've done this year is read comics, but a close examination of my reading diary (awww yeah nerdy as hell) tells me that, Shakespeare offshoots and volumes of The Sandman (AND Watchmen, which I loved so much I actually managed to properly review!) aside , I've actually only read three. Which is way more than I would have read most other years, so there you go. I had this theory for my birthday that I should ask for a lot of comic books because 1) I never buy them for myself cause they're too expensive, and 2) Even though I had no time to read, I would have time to read comics because they take like an hour (well, some of them do). That didn't really happen because, I mean, dissertations take up a lot of time, you know? But that basically just means that I now have a load of comic books to read, and in no world is that a bad thing.

Here are some feels about the ones I have read:

Ghost World by Daniel Clowes

I have a weird relationship with the movie Ghost World because I'm never quite sure if I like it or not, and the same kind of went for the comic. I'm just realising as I write this that my main problem might be that I want Enid to basically be Daria, and... She is not Daria. Anyway. The comic book is quite different from the film in ways I can't entirely remember now, but I do remember thinking the comparison was interesting and I wanted to make some, so... That's very helpful (I'm so sorry, this is a fucking train wreck). ANYWAY. I think the thing I have mostly learnt about Ghost World is that I'm never quite going to relate to its characters, not only because I'm just not quite that mean, but also because I'm not a teenager anymore. If I had been, I'm sure it would have been very inspirational, but as it is... Not so much. Still, I always enjoy Ghost World in its various forms, so it's worth a read.

Lighter Than My Shadow by Katie Green

I genuinely have no recollection of first hearing about Lighter Than My Shadow, but I have always thought the title is excellent and it fulfils so many things I want from a book. This is a graphic novel memoir (FAVOURITE) about eating disorders (PSYCHOLOGY: FAVOURITE) and the drawings are everything that I want and it's just so bloody brilliant. At over 500 pages, I think it's the biggest comic I've ever read, and don't get me wrong, it's difficult to hold; but it's well worth the arm strain. Green is very insightful into her own experiences, and, I can only assume, very honest, and it all makes for a very interesting, and sometimes heartbreaking, read.

Relish by Lucy Knisley

If I liked the other two comics here, then I loooooved Relish. I can't think of a single thing I didn't like about this book, and there is so much in it to love. Relish is another graphic novel memoir, but it's more of a retelling of important moments in Knisley's life centring around food. The drawings are perfect (for the kind of drawings that I want to see, anyway) and there are even recipes at the end of each chapter so you can actually try the food that Knisley is talking about, as if you couldn't practically taste it already from her descriptions. Writing about it is actually making me want to read it again quite badly, and I don't think it'll be long before I'm flicking through it again, and maybe even making some of the recipes, who knows! But seriously, if you like comics, and if you like food, then it's pretty important that you read this book.

The Monkalong, Part One: "Her manner evidently showed that she knew not what she was about"

I have a troubled history with the 18th Century Novel, in that I once had to do a module on them for my BA (I honestly love having to distinguish between my BA and MA now, you're gonna have to tell me if it gets annoying...) and they are the WORST. As in, the actual worst novels I've ever read. They're worse than you can even imagine, unless you've read Pamela too, and then you will understand the huge desire to die that the novel encourages in people.

YES IT IS.

But anyway. The point is that because of my crippling fear and hatred of the 18th century novel, I was not thaaaat excited to read The Monk, much as I was excited to be Monkingalong, because FIRST READALONG IN A YEAR, AW YEAHHHHHH! I started reading The Monk on the way to Canterbury, and was apparently very much not in the mood for it cause when I re-read those, like, 5 pages last night, I remembered none of the things that had happened, and then I kept reading and SHIT GOT REAL! 

Only I was MORE excited than Jesse

So. I mean. This book is ridiculous, right? Like, any number of mythical beings could show up and I wouldn't be at all surprised, except that I'd actually be hugely surprised because I ALREADY HAVE BEEN LIKE 3 TIMES. I think I already need to get more coherent because I am getting overwhelmed with the ridiculous of everything. HANG ON. 

Ok, I'm good. So. The excellence of the first chapter of The Monk clearly lies with the aunt who apparently has no ability to read social situations, has a firm belief in her ability to charm men, and does that annoying thing of 'why don't you say anything girl?' 'but Aunt, I-' 'DON'T INTERRUPT ME!' Obviously, I'm kind of in love with her. Antonia seems like a dull dull heroine like Laura from The Woman in White, but we're probably not far enough into the book to say that yet... The blonde pretty ones ARE always dull though. The fact that Lewis seems to admire her silence kind of says it all too, "she was wise enough to hold her tongue. As this is the only instance known of a woman's ever having done so, it was judged worthy to be recorded here." I MEAN, REALLY?! RUDE.

The second chapter is really where it's all at though. A pregnant nun! A naughty Monk! CROSS-DRESSING!!! Ambrosio is kind of a douche, am I right? I mean, "he is reported to be so strict an observer of chastity that he knows not what consists the difference between men and women"

However. I am almost inclined to believe it since the sight of ONE MERE BOOB was enough to start all of his sexual motors and to almost turn the end of chapter two into a Mills and Boon style bodice ripper. Imagine if she'd shown him two boobs? He'd probably have died. Anyway. His righteousness over making sure Agnes is punished becomes hypocrisy when he gets to have the sex, only of course he's a man so won't be punished for it, and Matilda is dying so can't get pregnant, so everybody wins! Except feminism. Feminism does not win.

To conclude: Shakespeare. Have we noticed some Shakespeare happening, people? I'm sure the Shakespearean quote that the novel starts with means something but I have no idea what, and Lewis definitely stole the cross-dressing device from him/theatre in general, but I REALLY LIKE how it was used here because I am so used to characters explaining that they are going to dress like a man* that I was genuinely surprised at Matilda's confession. Like honestly, I just thought Rosario (was that her man name? I can't be bothered to find the book...) was going to tell Ambrosio he was gay for him because I got THAT vibe, at least, but then BOOM- Surprise, I'm a man! Amazing shit.

So anyway. Aside from the songs/poems that I definitely skipped, I am INTO this whole Monk thing. ONWARDS.

*Although not always WHY and that intrigued me so much that I wrote a whole essay on it BOOM applicable Shakespeare

Books I Have Devoured Over The Last Year, For Posterity

As you've probably noticed by the extreme amounts of tumbleweed blowing around this blog (wouldn't it be cool if neglected blogs actually started blowing tumbleweed around..? *drafts email to blogspot*) studying Shakespeare and working 3 days a week did not leave me much time for reading, and basically no time at all for reviewing, books. It was a strange because I was literally reading ALL THE TIME, but basically none of it was for me, and whilst I didn't mind that because- in case you haven't noticed- Shakespeare is kind of my guy, I did quite hugely miss just reading whatever, whenever. 

Of course, now I have the time to do that I'm doing all sorts of other things instead, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 

Anyway. I did read some- the first three and a half Harry Potter books being a notable example- and this post is an attempt to just suuuper briefly examine some feels about those books, get everything up to date (because I feel weird not logging like every single book I read here) so I can give proper actual blogging a real go again. Yay hobbies! So. *puts on glasses that are always on, examines reading diary* Let's begin!

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

I got Yes Please for Christmas last year, started reading it basically as soon as I got it, and it still took me until the end of February to finish it. This is not supposed to indicate the quality of the book, which is great, but to illustrate the severe lack of time I've had to read things EVEN WRITTEN BY MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE. Dammit, William... Anyway. This was good! There are parts of it that are excellent, parts of it that were maybe slightly less exciting, but I enjoyed it, it was a joy to read and if you like Amy Poehler at all then you're probably going to want to read it/have already done so!

Gosh, these are going to be so insightful, huh..?

South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami

I'm not saying I had to wikipedia the entire plot of this novel, but I did have to do exactly that. This isn't entirely because this novel was maybe a little bit forgettable (although... Sorry, Haruki!) but more because I think I read it over the course of a few train journeys, so I probably didn't even take it in properly as I was reading it. This is a mini-Murakami, more of a novella than a big ole novel, and although there are obviously a few elements of strangeness, it's a remarkably 'straight' Murakami novel. It's kind of about deep attachments to people that never really go away, about compromising on a life that you may have hoped had gone differently, and about wanting things that you can't, or shouldn't, really have. And, it's Murakami so I liked it quite a lot, in spite of the weird sex descriptions and seriously dude, can you cut that out please?

Blue Nights by Joan Didion

I read Blue Nights not long after South of the Border, West of the Sun; and I'm just remembering that this little burst of reading came in between the time when my nan died and the time when my grandad died, when I felt capable of reading again and was coming to the end of the taught part of my MA and realising I perhaps didn't need to do as much reading for that as I'd thought I did... (excellent student right here, wut wut!) But anyway. Blue Nights is almost a companion piece to The Year of Magical Thinking, which Didion wrote after her husband's death, only this was written after the death of her daughter less than two years later. I wasn't unmoved by it, but rather than a memoir of Didion's coping with grief, this is much more of a celebration of her daughter's life rather than a memoir of Didion's grief, which, we can assume, is beyond words anyway. I actually had a few issues with this book, namely Didion's denial of her daughter's massive privilege in the world (like, seriously. White rich people. There's always privilege) but it's difficult to be mad at it when the topic is so sad, and when the writing is so beautiful. I didn't exactly *love* this, but it didn't stop me from wanting to read all the Didion in the world, essentially.

After Dark by Haruki Murakami

After Dark was good! It's another little Murakami book (novellas have been my friends this last year) and is set over the course of the evening. There's a sense of danger running throughout the whole book, maybe because of the nighttime setting or maybe just because of the prostitute who nearly gets beaten to death, but the entire book fills you with a sense of unease, as well as displaying the kind of friendships that fall together for one night only and then fall apart again as soon as the sun comes up. I can't entirely remember what happened at the end of this one, again because I am TERRIBLE, but that doesn't mean it's not worth you reading and telling me what happens at the end...

No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July

I bought this when it was a Kindle Daily Deal purely because I think the title is so excellent and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is a book of short stories and I don't feel like too much of a douche when I describe them as remarkable. The experience I had reading these stories was one where I felt completely and totally understood by another person, where, even if I didn't directly relate to the experiences of the characters, I still knew exactly how they felt. July writes about loneliness, about feeling out of place and out of step with the world, about things you didn't know you felt until they were written down in front of you and you had to stop for a bit because suddenly someone was writing about you and it creeped you out a bit.

Um. Yeah. I really really incredibly enthusiastically recommend this book, except that I feel a little bit breathless doing so because they sort of are me and I don't want you to not like them. But even if you don't, I guess I still will, so everything is fine.

Here endeth the first round of summarising posts, didn't we all have fun?! Now that I've done this and it was easier than I was expecting, I have grand plans- for a 'comic books I have read' post, a few Shakespeare posts (obvs) and I think a Shakespeare offshoots, and Shakespeare comic books post. THIS IS SO EXCITING, I'M BACK YOU GUYS!

Sunday Sundries: Whoops?

*Waves vigorously at the internet*

Hi internet, it's me! Did you miss me? I'm sure you did.

So, yeah. At this point there's not much use in bothering to explain/apologise for my absence from these here pages, except this time I shall say that I am still in recovery from my Shakespeare OD, I have just had 14 days off in the last 16 and have spent approximately 6 of them basically in bed, and reading and writing have kiiiind of been beyond me. But I know you'd like a list of the things I've been doing instead, so here it comes!

• I have created an entirely new books database of all the books I own (digital and physical) which has led to the slightly overwhelming conclusion that I own 348 books that I haven't read, but will hopefully avoid the unnecessary expense of buying books I already own. Or at all, because NEARLY THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY BOOKS TO READ WHAT EVEN AM I?!
• The books database was part of a wider attempt to sort my room out after a year of just putting things wherever and hoping for the best. This sorting has been both successful and unsuccessful- my bookshelves look amazing, I've turned my Shakespeare table back into my sewing table, and I've gotten rid of a lot of stuff already. However. My cupboard full of crap is still a cupboard full of crap, and my bedroom floor is kind of filled with stuff that doesn't really have a home yet. This is all to say that I'm not really done yet, much as I wanted to be for the resumption of normal life tomorrow.
• Outings! I have had some. So I've been to garden centres with my cousin, to London with Frances, shopping with my mum, and Canterbury to see Bex and Christine, my friend from uni who also lives in Kent, making visits there a handy two-for-one kind of deal now! I'm actually pretty proud of myself for having managed to go places without actually bankrupting myself (I have basically no money) and still having fun- who knew one could have fun without money?! (Me. I knew that.)
• I was about to write that I've been sleeping a lot, but that's actually not quite true, I've just been tired for the large majority of the time. A lot of this is obviously Shakespeare hangover because oh my god my brain does so know what to do with itself half the time now, but, as identified when I actually did go to work for a couple of days, I hadn't actually been moving or keeping hydrated or eating as well as I generally try to. SO these past 5 days I've been walking everywhere (I walked about 5 miles on Wednesday, try not to be too impressed) and I have definitely felt less tired so goddammit I guess I have to admit my boss is right about some stuff. Poop.
• In spite of this, however, there has just generally been quite a lot of resting. Much time in and around bed, watching anime or reading the internet, and just generally taking a bit of time to not-think for a change. I haven't been actively not-reading, but I also haven't been reading very much (with the exception of comic books which I am just gulping down at the moment) and I really don't feel bad about that because... Yeah. Damn. Remember when I had to read a Shakespeare a week? That was insane.
• Probably most importantly, today we found my sister's old gameboy and my two games (Pokemon blue and yellow, bitches) and I basically spent the afternoon getting through these caves I'd been stuck in on both games with the help of a youtube tutorial, and FINALLY BEATING THE ELITE FOUR AND FINISHING BLUE. Like seriously. I can't even tell you my pride in myself. It's immense.

So, yeah. I've just generally been doing life, not thinking too much about anything (including the fact that I have a poor little neglected blog out in the world, bless it!) and kind of trying to enjoy myself juuuust a little bit before I think about job hunting and whatnot (GULP) (but like seriously, MASSIVE GULP). The constant reinforcement of people asking me when I'm going to blog again has led to this post, but it's not that it's something I've been putting off because I don't want to do it, I just haven't thought about it that much at all. I'm not sure which is worse, but to be honest, I don't want my writing brain muscles to atrophy anyway, and (AND!) The Monk Readalong starts on Thursday, and frankly if I am not ready to blog in a readalong, then I do not even deserve to still have a blog. 

I'm not entirely sure that sentence made sense, but remain there it shall (this ended up being my dissertation motto...) The point: I have been a terrible blogger for a year. I think I might actually be back now. Or at least I want to try to be. Now I just need to remember how to write about the things I've read...

Re-re-re-re-readathon time!

So, I guess today was kind of a big day...

I only went and handed in my dissertation, meaning my MA is OVER. I have basically mastered Shakespeare now, so let's see what I can master next!*

Because I am possibly the coolest person in the world, I celebrated this miraculous day by trying to find Game of Thrones books in charity shops (no luck), doing my food shopping, washing up, cooking, having a nap and then tidying my room for the first time since... It would be uncouth of me to say when. Not exactly wild parties, but I think we all know me by now and yeah. Not going to happen really, is it?

I DID have two ciders while I was cleaning though, so no one can say I don't live life on the edge.** 

ANYWAY. The point is, I guess I'm kind of back! And the real actual point is, Bex's re-readathon started today, and let's face it, it's totally an event for meeeeeeee and that's all that matters hahaha. It runs from today until Sunday 20th, and whilst this week I am working 3 days and going to London to celebrate myself on Wednesday, I am off work next week (which is MY FIRST WEEK OFF IN A YEAR***) and I am maybe doing something one of those days so far? So yes. Reading will be done.

I have even made a little book stack! *wipes away a tear* I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to read, so while I was tidying I looked at my shelves, and I figured, I should basically just read the books that I read before blogging that essentially made me want to START blogging? That is, the books that I read, but no one else had, that I wanted to discuss with people but couldn't really? So yeah. That's pretty much my logic behind my book choices.

And here they are!

Omitted from this pile is Brave New World, which I have been in the middle of for quite a long time now, but still counts, right? I'm also somewhere near the beginning of Song of Susannah, the Stephen King I am in the middle of for my long neglected reading-all-the-Stephen King challenge, so let's pretend that's on the pile too. But basically, yeah. I'll just realllly briefly go through them and my reasons...

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry- I read this very very very close to starting my blog, and even though I can't really remember it now, I remember needing to talk about it. This gets extra points for being a children's book and therefore shouldn't hurt my brain too much.

Fight Club- I mean, it's Fight Club. But I can't talk about it because of the first two rules of Fight Club, so sorry!

Catch 22- Actually not one I read near to blog starting, I remember being too young to read this as I read it, in that I didn't actually get it. I might still not get it now, but it's worth a re-read if you ask me.

Ready Player One- Ok, this is just for fun. IT'S READY PLAYER ONE, COME ON!

About A Boy- This is a book I've definitely toyed with getting rid of, but I can't quite do it because there's that girl who loves Nirvana and Nirvana are everything and and and... So it gets one last read at least.

The Handmaid's Tale- DEFINITELY one that I wanted to discuss but never could, and one of my most favourite books of all time. I only realised that I have a thing for dystopian novels when, having just met with my own dissertation supervisor, I heard a conversation between another student and a lecturer that went: "what do you want to write your dissertation on?" "dystopian novels" and felt an UNBEARABLE LONGING in my heart. Although that could have just been because I missed novels in general, to be fair...

I'm the King of the Castle- I remember being really really disturbed by this but not so much what it's completely about. So that'll be exciting and stuff. 

Notes on a Scandal- I think Alice read this a couple of years ago and I was REALLY EXCITED that someone else had read it so I could talk about it, then I realised I had mostly forgotten it. BUT STILL. I know it's pretty nasty, but also pretty great.

Rebecca- I mean. I've read this A LOT, but I got a pretty Virago (Virago? I'm not even sure now...) copy for my birthday and it is SO. GOOD. It also gets extra points because when I review it I can seek out the Mitchell and Webb sketch because it's the funniest thing in the whole world. PLUS it counts as a RIP book, so all is well.

SO! That's pretty much what I'll be reading for the next couple of weeks, unless I get bored/change my mind/just don't read anything ever again because oh god my poor brain... I may or may not post a pile of RIP books at some point, but they might sneak in too... The possibilities for my reading are just limitless now!

So you'll excuse me if I just spend the rest of the evening watching Sailor Moon... It's nothing personal, books, it's just... Anime...

*I am totally bullshitting. No one can master Shakespeare. Shakespeare is infinite. Shakespeare is life. 

**Everyone can say that. Tell all your friends. Laura lives life right in the middle.

***Off of uni AND work. I totally haven't been to work since last Tuesday hahaha.