30 Books Before 30: #15 The Mothers by Brit Bennett

Ahhhh. That sweet sweet feeling where you read the book a very long time ago (ok like less than 2 months) and can't really review it well because eh, what do I know?

Mind you, that is always true, so here we go anyway!

Here's one thing I remember about this book - its framing is very very interesting and I like it. The start of each chapter is narrated by 'The Mothers', a group of women at the local church who see things, and talk about things, even if they don't fully understand what's going on. This means that the start of the chapters read like the whispered gossips of a group of not-too-well-informed ladies, and then open out into the wider, actually true*, story.

I liked this as a framing device a lot, as I feel like it echoes what happens a lot in real life - a little bit of if you knew what had happened to people behind the scenes, you wouldn't be so quick to judge, and other important things to remember like that. HAVING SAID THAT, I sort of wish that the mothers weren't exclusively a framing device, and had a little more to do with the novel than just lurking around and gossiping - but I guess that's kind of the point of them, and it's fun when they do turn up in the main story as background characters, just as the main characters become background to The Mothers' lives - just another thing that happened to someone else.

The story itself is an age old one, and I have to admit I saw it coming from miles away - but then I don't think this novel is supposed to be one of surprises so much as an exploration of why people sometimes do inexcusable things (hint: it's definitely more complex than you think). Having said that, it was the forgone conclusion feeling about this book that prevented me from really loving it, since when it finally got to its inevitable end, it was kind of like an 'eh, sure' rather than any sense of real excitement or interest.

Having said that, I did pretty much read the whole thing in a day so... I guess it can't have been so terrible? I mean, I'd say it's pretty entertaining and all of that good stuff (and sometimes that's all you neeeed) but that's kind of... It. You probably won't regret reading this at all, but it just might not change your world (nor, I suppose, should it have to). THE END.





*Well, not ACTUALLY because it's fiction. But you know what I mean.

Things I Read In February

What the flippity flop, it's March!

We had a ridiculously warm end of February that I was not complaining about because I knew, as has happened, that it would soon turn to shit and we'd be freezing again. Lo and behold, I am currently under a duvet, with a heater on, because BLOODY HELL it is cold. Also yes hello I am English, we do talk about the weather A LOT, huh?

February! It was a month. I had to work later than usual this month (9-5 as opposed to 8-4) to cover things while one of my colleagues were off, and honestly by the end of it I was in SUCH A BAD MOOD. This was for a variety of work reasons, but mostly it was just mood mood moodily mood, come home, watch Brooklyn 99, all is well (ON WHICH: I know you all know about it, but this is my first time watching it and OMG what how is this so good and funny I just can't what I gimme more yes AGH!). This past week I have been back to normal hours and have, on the whole, been much more pleasant to be around which is good good good.

Working different hours gave me extra time on the bus, so I'm surprised I didn't finish more books, but on the flip side quite a few of the books I read this month were quite weighty (1200 pages of Harry Potter, yo!) plus I had all of that Brooklyn 99 watching to do! I also joined a gym (!!) this month for the first time in my adult life, which is about half reading time (on a bike) and half not reading time (on the rowing machine/stairs because I spend my time on those mostly longing for death). It has actually been good and I feel a lot more energetic in a general sense so this is ALL GOOD STUFF.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE BOOKS I READ? You definitely would.

Look at the precioussssss...

Becoming by Laura Jane Williams -  Oh man. My best friend and I have a mild to moderate obsession with Laura on instagram because honestly she is filled with positivity and joy and is just a delight in general. I was really excited when I saw this book in the library whilst getting Japan guidebooks (yasss buddy) and then I read it. And... Well. It's not like it's the worst thing I've ever read or anything, and there were definite moments of excellent insight, but there were a few too many people telling the author how amazing she is, and too much sort-of-bad dialogue for my liking. I wanted this to be so much better than it was, and on the whole I think I'll stick with her instagram.

Courage Calls To Courage Everywhere by Jeanette Winterson - This teensy book was a bit of a delight - a manifesto by Jeanette Winterson on, ya know, women and their rights and all of that kind of stuff. ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS, basically. The book also contains a speech Millicent Fawcett gave in the early 20th Century supporting and promoting the vote for women which is disarmingly modern and still relevant (why is it still relevant?!) Very good and feminist stuff.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by JK Rowling - The Harry Potter re-read continues! It's dangerous and serious and all very terrifying and stuff, and, you know, still so very good. So very, very good.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - This month became something of a month of re-reads for me (I ain't mad about it) and Middlesex was the most surprising of these for me in that I had hardly remembered any of it, and what I did remember almost ruined it for me (in a certain way, to be revealed in my full review!) I really FELT those 8 years that passed since reading it last, and I'm not sure that was in a good way!

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden - THIS one I remembered pretty well (I have read it... more than once before, although the last time was maybe before I read Middlesex so, shrug) and, you know what, it's still gorgeous and amazing and... I obviously now have some feelings about a white man speaking for a Japanese woman but then also at the same time he makes it clear he's done his research and... More hand-wringing in the real review, I guess!

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates - Not a re-read, but a future re-read, I think! This is another 30 before 30 book, so gets a full review, but this one really packs a punch - a black father's letter to his son, you can really feel the fear and anger in Coates' history, and this somehow manages to be both personal and global at the same time. We'll talk about this soon, ok.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling - Oh man. Was this book always this good or did I just really need some Harry Potter in my life as comfort as I approach 30? EITHER WAY, this was so good. I had so much fun with this book (and tears, and stress, and so on), and even the camping didn't feel as tedious as usual. Having watched the films leading up to Christmas last year also, I was impressed all over again by the last two films which are kind of ok-ish. HIGH PRAISE, huh?

Pages for You by Sylvia Brownrigg - My friend lent me this book and sold it to me with the promise that it was the lesbian Call Me By Your Name so, you know, SOLD. This is the lesbian Call Me By Your Name in the sense that an impressionable youth has a relationship with an older (but not, like, disgustingly older) academic, but it's also a lot more... sexual than CMBYN. Whilst CMBYN is almost the whisper of a relationship that could have been, Pages for You is a burning love affair that fizzles out, that just isn't quite there, that doesn't quite make it... Ok, I guess that does sound pretty similar, but this one isn't in Italy. ANYWAY - it was good, I liked it a lot, definitely worth a read if you come across it and want to relive teen/20s love affairs.

So, yeah. Life, life, I like books. Bookie bookie book books. Happy basically spring everyone! We made it (ish)!

30 Books Before 30: #14 Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Oh, Wild. For a book that I hold in my heart with a lot of fondness, I found upon re-reading it that I really didn't remember much about it at all. It also shocked me that I had only read it once before, but since half of the content is fairly similar to Strayed's novel (Torch), I guess I have kind of read it one and a half times at least.

I also read it when it was fairly new out, and before it became this whole big thing. In one of the episodes of the Gilmore Girls reboot (which itself was *gulp* over two years ago now!), Lorelai goes to 'do Wild' - i.e. find herself on the PCT, along with a whole load of women 'going through stuff'. This is obviously meant as a kind of joke on women who try to emulate an experience that was life changing for just one person ('Movie or Book?!' the women ask each other, trying to find their correct group), but it also helps to show the reach the novel (and, I guess, the movie) have had since I last read it.

I still haven't seen the movie, by the by, for no reason other than it's not available to stream anywhere and I don't really want to spend money on it. I'm sure it's good because Reese Witherspoon is ace, and I'm looking out for the opportunity to watch it whenever I can. But, for now, there is always the book.

And, you know what? It's still a good book. I'm not sure that it still had the same impact on me that it had back in 2013 (wow), but I think I need it less than I did then - I have a much better idea about myself than I did 6 (again, wow) years ago, and I feel somewhat that I need it less than I did then. Nonetheless, it's still charged with emotion, and very inspiring and heartbreaking, and you know, all of that good stuff.

This wasn't really a review, I realise, so much as a review of me, but if you want more of an idea of the book you can take a look at my vintage review of 2013 (again WHAT EVEN). I completely understand this book's inclusion on the 30 before 30 list, because of its inspirational and uplifting essential message - we all have the power to change our own lives, if and when it's needed.

30 Books Before 30: #13 The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

Hey, remember when I said I read a load of books that I now can't remember? This one is the main one I can't remember, something which I put down to reading it over the Christmas period when I was mostly high on sugar and cheese (ah, cheese). I have an inbuilt mistrust of books that have won awards because those things are almost always wrong, and, based on the lack of an impact this novel had on me, I have no reason to revise this feeling.

Ok, let's get through this the best way we know how. The story (wikipedia tells me) follows the story of two escaped slaves Cora and Caesar (thanks Wikipedia) as they both decide to and then do escape from the plantation on which they are enslaved. Many many events ensue, which kind of show the huge and disgusting and horrible impossibility of being an escaped slave in America in the 1800s, as obstacle after obstacle throws itself in their, and later just in Cora's, faces.

And just... Eh. I, of course, don't mean eh about slavery, or about violence faced by black people in America since, you know, they were bought and brought there until jut about the present day because of course that is bullshit and fuck that and just urgh. This book itself though, I just... Well. Apart from the fact that it apparently had no impact on me, I just didn't feel like it was, like, good enough to tackle the subject or to hold my interest or I don't know, maybe I'm just a monster?

I also felt that the violence in the novel became a little gratuitous in parts - which is not me trying to downplay the very real violence that we all know happened, so much as I almost feel as though fictionalising it almost makes the real things that happened less important. This feeling is something akin to the way I feel about Holocaust fiction, where I don't really think it should exist, except possible when written by the people directly affected by it. It's almost, to me, that some things are too horrid to be turned into fiction because it diminishes the real events in some sense.

Or maybe I just didn't really like this book.

Have you read this? Do you remember it? Can you tell me why it's supposed to be so great and make me reconsider myself? Thanks in advance!

30 Books Before 30: #12 The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Oh, The Count of Monte Cristo. Do you know how long it took me to read The Count of Monte Cristo? Or, another question, do you know how hard it is to make yourself read a giant book when you have so many smaller books laying round? (I'm sure you probably do). I started The Count of Monte Cristo... I'm not even sure when, and only when I dedicated many evenings solely to reading it did I finally get through it.

You should not take this, however, as an indication of my feelings towards the story because I looooved it. It is ridiculously dramatic, and I loved every second of its well-crafted, insane beauty. Let's get into it.

The story is essentially a fairly simple one. A good man, an innocent man, is imprisoned by a group of jealous and/or self-interested men, left to rot for a lot of (let's say 20?) years, until he finally escapes, goes to get the treasure from the island of Monte Cristo so that he is rich beyond all reason, and then seeks his revenge on the men who imprisoned him. DID I MENTION IT IS RIDICULOUSLY DRAMATIC? Because, yeah.

I'd love to tell you that the drama and the ridiculousness is a downside of the book, but I loved the drama and indeed the ridiculousness. It's not meant to be a book that you take too seriously (imho), and you really just have to let yourself go and enjoy all the crazy plot twists and unlikely coincidences and so on and so forth. I would say that the book could honestly be half the size if you cut out a lot of the foreshadowing and plotting, but why the heck would you when it's this much fun to read?!

I would super recommend reading The Count of Monte Cristo if you want to feel super accomplished for reading a classic, but don't really want to struggle through a super serious and (let's face it) difficult one. It is honestly a lot of fun, with a few deeper moments but mostly a lot of dressing up as other people and handing out diamonds and revenge, revenge, so much revenge! Read it, enjoy it, don't carry it around with you cause it's super heavy and stuff.

30 Books Before 30: #11 I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai

Prepare yourselves, good people, for a raft of posts about books-I-don't-really-remember. It's going to be a wild ride for us all as we venture down the hazy fog of my damn memory. Let's get started.

Having said that, I do remember I Am Malala fairly well because of how impressive I found it. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but all I knew about Malala before reading this was that she got shot in the head when she was 15 (and since this happened in Pakistan, I doubt I would have known even that had she not been flown to the UK for treatment) and, you know, I don't have high hopes of teenagers.

This, I soon realised, was foolish. Granted, this book was written 'with' (i.e. by) someone else, but Malala's story is incredibly interesting and important and not very teenager-y at all. The first half of the book, in fact, is quite literally not teenager-y - it essentially tells the story of both the history of Pakistan as well as the history of Malala's family. I thought this was an amazing editorial decision - not only because, as Malala is so young, her family's story is her story, but also because, as an ignorant Western reader, I didn't really have a clear idea of Pakistan's recent political history. I have a much better idea now, but also more importantly, Pakistan's political history is fully pertinent to what happened to Malala.

And then, we get to Malala. Malala, I have to say, is kind of incredible. It's incredible for any person to face death and then come out of it stronger, but Malala's strength had been present long before she was shot in the head - in fact, it's sort of the reason she was. Malala was, in Pakistan, a young advocate of education for women (and, to be fair, everyone, but no one's trying to stop men learning) and it was her speaking out that got her shot in the head. She is a force of nature, really, unwavering in her belief that education rather than war is what the world needs to get better.

I would, then, really very highly recommend this book as a biography and a way to make yourself feel very not-accomplished compared to this amazing teenage activist. This made me feel all activist-y and angry and wanting-to-change-the-world-y, and although I really haven't done that yet (although sometimes being a smug vegan makes me feel that way, at least a bit) you never know what's round the corner!

Sunday Sundries: Let's Talk About Veganism (Baby...)

Good Morning folks, and Happy Sunday!

I spent (half of) my Saturday taking part in the London Bookshop Crawl, which was ace as always, and then the rest of my afternoon and evening blogging and watching Gilmore Girls, which is obviously the best way to spend a day ever ever ever.

Do you want to see the books I bought? What am I even saying, of course you do!

Ah my precious little booksies, how I love them. Hilariously, I didn't intend for this to even lead into my main topic for today, but hey, two of the books I bought were vegan recipe books, isn't that interesting?

Very, I know right?

As you may have guessed, Veganuary went really well. I had consciously been trying to reduce the amount of dairy in my diet for probably 6 months - a year before Veganuary, firstly because I knew I was going to try it out for the month, but also because I had started feeling a bit icky and weird after eating too much dairy (which may have just been the amount of fat I was consuming because you guys, I really really like cheese and also milkshakes). Eggs weren't really an issue for me because I don't really like them and only ever bought them to bake with, but I had already switched to vegan mayo before the start of the month, and I had also already switched to this awesome vegan butter that melts like real butter.

For some reason, in spite of all of the above, I thought this month would be really really difficult and I would die of starvation and all of that kind of rational thinking. Instead, you know what? I pretty much ate what I had previously, just without added cheese. It didn't hurt that literally every restaurant in the UK seemed to have jumped on the Veganuary bandwagon, and were offering beautiful vegan options. My fella and I ate out most weekends and I was always well fed, and I even called our favourite Chinese restaurant to ascertain whether there was egg in their noodles (there was not! Score!) There were only a very few occasions where I struggled a little to find a good vegan option, but even then, there always was one that I could cope with.

There are, of course, a few things I miss. I can basically only have dark chocolate now (although if anyone finds a good milk chocolate like alternative, please let me know) and vegan cheese is... not good, but I have found a vegan nutella that, honestly, tastes like nutella, and have already veganised yorkshire puddings and potato dauphinoise - two things which I haven't even made the animal product versions of. My sister called me the other day and, by the by, told me she was sad that I couldn't have 'normal' chocolate bars anymore and 'what about nutella?' (please see above for what about nutella). When I think about all the things I can't have anymore, I'm reminded of Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals -

"Two Friends are ordering lunch. One says 'I'm in the mood for a burger,' and orders it. The other says 'I'm in the mood for a burger' but remembers that there are things more important to him than what he is in the mood for at any given moment, and orders something else." 

I really really like good chocolate, and I really really like cheese, but oh my god, I really love animals even more than that and I'm just not ok with baby cows being taken from their mothers, or their mothers being kept in a constant state of pregnancy or milking. I'm just not.

But anyway. As a welcome addition to following my own ethical compass (one that, honestly, I've been a ignoring for a while now), I felt amazing while I was eating vegan (possibly only because I was eating way less chocolate/sugar), and more alert and alive than I normally do in the winter for sure! I found that the people around me were accommodating and lovely (my mum is glorious and has gone wild buying all the vegan things she can find!) and that it was honestly so. much. easier. than I was anticipating it being.

So yeah, that's my vegan tale. It's not very dramatic, I just stopped eating a few things and started eating a few other things, but hopefully if this is something you're considering, this will help you to realise that it's perhaps not as intimidating as it might at first appear. I'm not really in the business of convincing other people to do things (bloody hate a preacher) but if this is something you're thinking about please let me know and I'd be happy to help you out and give you advice, if wanted! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and eat some pancakes because hey, those can be vegan too! Mmmmmmm, pancakes...