Tuesday 5 November 2013

Devouring Films: Lars and the Real Girl

Lars and the Real Girl is the perfect example of a film I'm so glad I watched alone than with other people. With others, I think it could have been the kind of thing where I could have either been swept along into thinking that it was ridiculous without really considering what the movie was trying to say, OR I would have been the only person in the room crying at it. Either way wouldn't have been my perfect way to watch a movie, so I'm lucky I watched it all alone in my bed late one night.

Now let me tell you the plot of Lars and the Real Girl and you'll understand why I fear (yet also, you know, get) people would laugh at it. Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a socially awkward guy who lives in his brother and sister-in-law's garage. One day, a package arrives for Lars, and inside is his new girlfriend, an anatomically correct sex doll who Lars acts like is a real person. For the whole movie. That's it, that's the film. And I know, it sounds bonkers, and yes, I definitely used that word in a text to Frances when I was watching it.

But. Even though the premise is bonkers, and even though when you're watching Ryan Gosling (beautiful, beautiful Gosling) act as though a rubber doll is a real person it's difficult to take seriously, somehow this film managed to be both heartwarming AND thought provoking. Can you believe it was both of those overused words at once? Because it was! But seriously- whilst it's so tempting for you as the viewer to make fun of Lars initially, when you see how the people in his small town react towards him and his 'girlfriend', Bianca, it's almost impossible to view him and his situation with anything other than the highest compassion.
Because the townspeople? They're pretty great. Instead of trying to tell him that his girlfriend isn't real, or laughing at him to his face, or being outright terrible to him, as you might expect, you know, actual people to be, they're actually completely decent, embracing 'Bianca' as Lars's real girlfriend and including her in basically all of the town's events. It actually gets so that you almost (almost) forget that, oh yeah, she is a sex doll, because she's such a focal point of the movie, and the way Lars acts towards her is so genuine that she almost becomes like a real character. It's the strangest thing.

A lot of this movie rests on Ryan Gosling, and, as ever, he's kind of fantastic. The main reason you don't want to laugh at Lars is because of the way he plays him, as someone who goes out of his way not to interact with people, but who needs someone so much that he invents a person to be his everything. It's so tragic because, when you watch him interact with Bianca, you can see just how much he has to offer a real person, but he doesn't know how to be with someone real. It's interesting that, even though this film could be problematic in a kind of 'he doesn't know how to handle a real woman so he gets one who can't ever defy him' way, that's absolutely not the way things are set up in this movie, and the issue isn't that Lars wants a woman he can control, it's that he literally has no idea how to be with a real person.
I don't know how accurate this film is to the experience of people who have delusions, but I found it fascinating from a psychological perspective. The idea is that Lars created Bianca (as a real person, he didn't, like, build her) because he needed her for some reason, which, I think, essentially spawns from the fact that his mother died giving birth to him (there's more basis to it than this, but this is the root of his issues). I am actually really interested in what it must be like to be the child whose mother died in childbirth- to know that, you were something she wanted so much, and yet you also played a part in her death. There's absolutely no way you can blame the baby for this, but how much blame must those children take on themselves, and how does that affect them through their lives?

Like I said, fascinating.

I'm going to stop rambling on about this now before I give away, you know, the entire film, but please- don't let the fact that this movie involves a sex doll and Ryan Gosling put you off, because rather than that being as gross as it sounds, it's such a sweet story about a man trying to work his way through his issues without even realising that's what he's doing, and it's so sweet that he doesn't even use the doll in the way it's intended because, and I quote, 'she wants to wait until we're married.' It's interesting, it's definitely different, and it's worth an hour and three quarters of your time.

13 comments:

  1. Wow. Every time I see this movie, I sort of think, "Huh" and just pass it up. But now I want to see it really badly. Thanks for the review.

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    1. I think I had definitely sort of heard of it before, and I was like 'well, Ryan Gosling...' and then I read a synopsis and was like 'WHAT?!' but THEN I actually watched it, and yeah. It got to me! Glad I've made you want to watch it :) And it's on Netflix, if that helps with that!

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  2. I can't believe you hadn't watched Lars before! It was HUGE here in Australia when it came out, or at least amongst all the circles of people I know, and it was probably the film most people knew Ryan Gosling from (other than The Notebook, obvs).

    Anyway, I love it and I'm glad you also love it. It's just the sweetest movie and Ryan Gosling is just SO good in it. I mean, he's good in pretty much everything, but he is just really wonderful and fantastic in it. And now I feel like watching it again *runs off to see if my sister's copy is still in my dvd collection*

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    1. I have seen SO many Gosling films now (ok, I just looked it up, and it's like, 7. But it feels like so manyyy, maybe because I've watched Blue Valentine so many times) but anyway, yeah, only just seen Lars and ohhhh isn't it the sweetest? It made me so sad, and then so happy and just awwwwww.

      Ryan Gosling is such a good actor. My favourite thing about him is how, before I'd seen him IN anything, I was like 'Whyyyy does everyone think he's so hot?' but then I watched him doing stuff and I was like 'SHIT you are so fucking charming, how do you do that?!' So basically, he acted his way into me fancying him, so that's pretty great.

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    2. I don't know how you've managed to watch Blue Valentine more than once! I really liked it, but it's super depressing. I think i'd just shrivel up and die if I watched it again, haha.

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  3. This sounds like a sweet movie that could have gone SO WRONG very easily.

    There was actually some show (probably a TLC documentary cos of course...) about a guy who basically was Lars. He can somewhat interact with people and he's shown with some but for the most part he has trouble. But he WANTS to be with people so he "married" a sex doll.

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    1. Seriously- could have gone SO wrong. Like, if he'd abandoned all activities to have sex all the time with a doll- that would have been THE WORST. But it turned out to be kind of great.

      So in this show (which I would have laughed at mere weeks ago, but now... NOPE) did he actually believe the doll was real, or was he just trying to replicate the experience of being with people, whilst also knowing that he wasn't actually with people? Not that either one is better, and I wouldn't like to say which is sadder, but... I'm intrigued, is all.

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    2. So I think the guy knows, at a logical level, she's not real. But at the same time I'm trying to remember if they asked him about it.

      ALSO I'm pretty sure the episode is on Netflix. Look for the show Strange Sex

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  4. I feel like I've heard of this movie, but then maybe it just sort of disappeared into the ether and I've never stumbled across it against since? It sounds exactly the sort of interesting psychological pushing-boundaries kind of film I love, so WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN I YET?

    Also, can I just say that when it comes to really great movies, I only EVER watch them by myself. Otherwise I find myself deliberately looking for the ridiculous, or distracting myself somehow, to stop myself getting too swept up and having a strong emotional reaction in front of other people. Something to do with too many times crying over films and plays and getting teased mercilessly, perhaps? ;'(

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  5. I'm wondering, at this moment, why I don't own this movie. SUCH is my love for it. His relationship with his sister. GAH. SO GOOD.

    I read somewhere that Gosling insisted that the doll be treated as a real cast member. So it was never onset unless it had a scene...and so forth.

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  6. And you say it's on Netflix? This does sound like something I would need to watch without Scott (he's so judgy!!! though he is really liking Orange is the New Black, so there's that) so maybe I'll get some crafty stuff out next week and watch.

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  7. Need Gosling. Must watch. This sounds amazing. How have I not heard of it?! I must have been living in a hole.

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  8. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES. I kid you not. I cry buckets every time I watch it: for Lars, for his brother's helplessness in the face of Lars's delusions, for the goodheartedness of his doctor, for his sister-in-law's willingness to be the first person to go along with the charade, for his church members who actually do what Jesus probably would have done...etc. I could go on.

    I actually just watched this movie again about three weeks ago. It's practically like you and I are psycho-kinetically bonded or something.

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