Sunday 24 November 2013

Sunday Sundries: This isn't going to be about feminism only it sort of is

Greetings, from chilly, chilly England!
Things seem to have taken a turn for the winter here of late, which makes sense since it's basically the end of November, but still. I will not have it. In a weirdly insulting turn of events, Tumblr just told me my browser was outdated when I went to find the above gif, and wow. That's not cool, Tumblr.

Anyway, stuff. It's Sunday! I... haven't really done anything this week. SHOCKER, I know, but there you go. I have to have some standards of consistency. Mostly I've been spending the week either complaining that I'm too hot or too cold, mostly because I've usually been too hot or too cold (I know). This is mainly down to the fact that I live and work in places that have insufficient central heating, so I have to rely on heaters that make me too hot, but you can't turn them off because FREEZING and goddamn, I hate winter already.
So, instead of ranting on about how I'm always either too hot or too cold lately and it's making me GROUCHY, I'm going to talk about a thing like I used to do sometimes, and then you can tell me things you think about it, if you want. I know, it's a good plan, I like it too.

So here is the thing: How important do we think it is for a TV character to be like you to be able to relate to them? What I mean is this: there's a lot of talk (and I am usually the one doing it) about the lack of anyone who isn't a straight white male on tv. I mean, obviously basically every TV show has women in it (the same can't be said for non-white, or non-heterosexual people, sadly) but they're usually in less important, background roles, like in say Breaking Bad, or The Sopranos. New Girl is called New Girl, but there are now 4 main dude characters and two women. I mean, it's a fairly dire situation, when you look at it statistically.

If we put that aside just for a second (not because it's unimportant, but because I want to work with the characters we do have for a minute), I'm wondering: is it that important for a character to be like you in terms of your gender/race/sexuality for you to be able to relate to them? What I'm really saying is, I am basically Nick Miller, and I don't feel weird saying that because I'm not a white dude.
It would be kind of embarrassing for me to list all the ways in which I am Nick Miller, but will it be enough to say that I am Nick and he is me? No? Well, ok then- we're both underemployed, super poor, really grumpy, maybe a tiny bit lazy and, you know, we both fancy Zooey Deschanel. Whilst I am Nick Miller, I also love Nick Miller, which makes things slightly complicated in my head because apparently I love myself? But the point is, I relate to him more than any other character on New Girl, which makes his successes my successes, and his failures my failures. At least, you know, a bit, and it doesn't feel weird that I relate less to Jess who, presumably should be my role model and whatnot (to be fair, she is a much better role model than Nick Miller. Just sayin.)

And then, another character I relate to but also would marry is Luke from Gilmore Girls. And Gilmore Girls is a programme with plenty of female characters to consider myself most like, and yet it is the grumpy but kindly dude from the diner that I consider myself to be most like, even though I feel like I would get a lot more annoyed with Lorelei than he does because OMG you talk too much, woman. Maybe that's a thing- that I like grumpy characters who don't always have to talk, but always have a presence when they're onscreen (obviously, cause that's the way narratives work...) and that is the kind of thing that women characters are not encouraged to be.

So, in other words, maybe I have to relate to the dude characters cause the women aren't ever written in that way, which is a big lie on behalf of all TV cause hello! Here I am being all quiet and moody over here! Not, you know, perky and nice and generally go getting and excellent.

So, to bring this back to the start... does it matter that I relate to dude characters more than the girl ones sometimes? No. Not when the female characters are hardly ever written in a way I relate to, but maybe that's because I'm an unconventional girl. But does it matter that there isn't a vivid array of different female characters in every TV show (well, maybe not every TV show), as well as people of colour and gay people? It does. It really really does. There are only a handful of shows I can think of that even come close to balancing the male:female ratio, and even ones that do don't always show a wide array of different characteristics within their women characters- because guys, 'femaleness' is not a trait, and seriously, we come in just as many different character types and styles as dudes do. REFLECT THIS, PLEASE.
Actual lady character I do relate to.

Parks and Recreation (which I will endeavour to write a post about this week) is as close to being perfect in a male-female way as I could hope, AND it's basically one of the best comedy series I've ever watched. IT CAN BE DONE, and it can be done well. For reals.

So tell me- do you think this is an issue or am I just making a fuss out of nothing? (I'm not). And which TV characters do you relate to that are so like you, but also so not like you? It can't be weirder than Nick Miller, is all I'm saying.

20 comments:

  1. Sooo this is the post before the post when you reveal you've actually been a grumpy dude in your mid-30s the whole time yes? CATFISHED.

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    1. OMG that would be amazing. But sadly, no. Just a grumpy 24 year old ladygirl. BECAUSE GIRLS CAN BE GRUMPY TOO, AND IT'S NOT JUST A MONTHLY THING, THANKS.

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    2. You've watched 30 Rock yes? Liz Lemon is the greatest grumpy female character ever invented. She is basically me, televisionised (which is def a word shhh) but with a better job.

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    3. Oh Liz Lemon. Liz Lemon is my spirit animal.

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    4. I don't know that I necessarily think of Liz Lemon being grumpy so much as, you know, awesome. But, POINT TAKEN, she is an amazing female character. Even if there are only like 2 women in 30 Rock and a bazillion men. Hmph.

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  2. Oh, Luke. My heart is yours. (Which means, Laura, that's it's yours, I guess. Treat it gently.)

    My work persona can relate to Erin from The Office: trying so hard to be cheerful and likable that it passes over into awkward more times than not. But you're so right at the under-representation of grumpy, lovable characters that aren't straight, white guys. Will from Will and Grace is nicely grumpy. ANYWAY. Good post, and you got me thinking.

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    1. Oh Kayleigh! I always knew I would win your heart one day! (sort of awkwardly, I also LOVE Luke, as well as being him. It's really confusing to me, too.)

      I... don't know who Erin is cause I've watched season 1 and a bit of season 2 of The Office? But you've totally explained her well enough that, ok, yep, THAT'S what Kayleigh's like at work, huh? I seeeee. I think the thing with grumpiness is that it's not something that women are either expected to have or something that's sort of cherished in them like it is with men, a bit. It's like, if a dude is grumpy then that can be endearing, but if a woman is then she's a BITCH. But whatevs, I'm just endearing AND grumpy, I don't care

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  3. I think we're all a little Nick Miller.

    I do think it says something when you find yourself relating mostly to male characters and not cos you're secretly a guy or anything. But like you said, women characters aren't really written like that. Which is stupid because CLEARLY women can be as grouchy as Nick.

    Have you seen the latest Fem Frequency video game tropes video about the Ms. Male character? It's pretty much how guys get to have characteristics but for female characters, the fact that they are female is their characteristic and that is laaaaaaame.

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    1. When you say that women can clearly be as grouchy as Nick, are you talking about me? Because if so, YESSSSS you get me hahaha. But yeah, I think when a woman finds herself relating to male characters because there are no women written like that (or at least none that I know of) it's at least worth commenting on. And it's not like I expect New Girl to cater just to me by giving me a grumpy girl character to be like, it's just that I'd like to see one ANYWHERE.

      I have not seen the new Fem Frequency video but now I REALLY want to! FEMALE IS NOT A CHARACTERISTIC! EVEN IF THERE IS ONLY ONE FEMALE! WHICH THERE PROBABLY IS! DAMN!

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  4. Though I've only seen the first two seasons so far, I kind of relate to Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife - not because of her life situation, but just because she's kind of reserved, like I am. And then sometimes I want to be her because she handles things in such a cool and collected manner - and I want to rock at work situations like that.

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    1. Dude, she sounds awesome. I've never seen The Good Wife, but I love when you can see some of yourself in a character and then can ALSO aspire to be like them in other positive ways. That's basically what TV is for, right?

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  5. Nick Miller is my favorite. I do think it's interesting that women on television are never portrayed as grumpy unless they are a really old person or have a disorder (like Bones).

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    1. I have never seen Bones, but there is a grumpy lady?! OOOH! I mean, even if she has a disorder, I'm still sort of down with that? Oh yeah. But yeah, it's definitely not a trait encouraged/shown in women which is CLEARLY ridiculous (See how grumpy I am?!)

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    2. Laura, for real, COUGAR TOWN. Ellie is grumpy and kinda mean, and she's totally the decision-maker in her marriage, and she's just awesome.

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  6. I both love this post and am confused by it because I haven't watched any of the shows you're referencing, except for season one of Breaking Bad and WAY too many episodes of Friends.

    But this:" because guys, 'femaleness' is not a trait, and seriously, we come in just as many different character types and styles as dudes do. REFLECT THIS, PLEASE." You have just articulated here something I've been feeling for, oh, most of my sentient life.

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    1. Hahahaha, oh sorry! When I wrote it, I was like 'la la la, TV is the best, everyone will know what I'm saying!' but even in the comments people are bringing up TV I don't know, and I'm like 'hmmm... yes...' hahaha. But FRIENDS! It's the best. So yeah.

      WOMEN ARE AS DIVERSE AND INTERESTING AS MEN! Obviously! I shouldn't even have to say it, but GOD!

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  7. So, tv shows are definitely kind of a sausage-fest, as always... but I don't know that it often really bothers me? It's just not something I think about, because as long as the storyline and characters are awesome, then I'm cool with it unless it gets crazy sexist. I did have issues with The Walking Dead in the first season because all of the women were really wimpy, but that's changed dramatically over the seasons. But yeah, otherwise I just don't pay attention? I don't know if that makes me cool like I don't even notice gender, or if it makes me not-cool because I'm not attuned to gender inequality on tv... *SHRUGS*

    Cougar Town and Happy Endings both have good female:male ratios, similar to Friends. Happy Endings is definitely more diverse than the others, but Cougar Town plays around with gender stereotypes in a fun way sometimes. Mainly, they're both awesome and make me laugh and I love the characters. Hmmm, Scrubs had a decent ratio too... man, YAY sitcoms.

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  8. I mean... I wouldn't say that I never *care* about it, because it's a thing I'm always kind of thinking about, but I agree that storylines and characters are totally an important thing- like, I forgive Breaking Bad for having hardly any women in it because, you know, it's amazing. BUT I think that not having an even split of men and women on TV is IN ITSELF sexist, kind of like sexism by omission? It's like saying, women's stories aren't as important as mens, and you'll just have to deal with that. Which, obviously, sucks. (I don't know if that makes you cool or not cool either lol! It probably means you can watch TV with dudes without them rolling their eyes at you haha).

    Wait, so I should watch Cougar Town is what you're saying? Hahaha! I really think Friends is like THE best example of a show where men and women were basically equal, and there wasn't a lot of he's a man and he does this, and she's a woman and she does this, it was a lot more like here are these people and they have these character traits and we love them. Which is THE BEST. Ah, I miss Friends.

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  9. EVERYONE should watch Cougar Town! It starts off as Courtney Cox's character trying to get herself back on track after her divorce, but by the end of season 1 it becomes much more Friends-like in that it's about a bunch of hilarious people hanging out. I WILL MAIL YOU SEASON 1, IF YOU WANT. That's how much I love it.

    Friends WAS such a great show. I could re-watch it forever. I think they did a pretty good job with the gender thing... not such a great job on other diversity, but oh well.

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  10. Completely agree with you. While I can relate to a man or a woman, it would be better if there were more major roles on TV for women, because we are after all not a minority but half of the world! Although there should also be more minority groups on TV too.

    I'm trying to think of which TV shows are good for their male:female ratio. I think all the Joss Whedon shows have been good on that front (because Joss rocks). And Castle's pretty good for it too.

    I'm now trying to think of British TV shows and how well they do. Hebburn, Fresh Meat and Skins are/were all 50:50. Love Soup was mostly women (redressing the balance a bit there). But IT Crowd fails the test sadly.

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