Sunday 25 January 2015

Sunday Sundries: Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Oh, you guys.

I wrote my blog birthday post last Friday evening because I wanted to spend the weekend vaguely relaxing and maybe reading some Shakespeare because that's what I have to do. It started alright, I had some breakfast, was watching Gilmore Girls in bed and steeling myself to go for a run when my sister called me to tell me my nan had died.

My nan. Who wasn't ill. Who I hadn't seen for a few weeks and who I loved beyond all measure.
To call it a shock doesn't really begin to cover it, and I can't even begin to tell you how sad I am. Except that I kind of already did this, last year, and if there's just one thing more shocking to me than losing this nanny this way, it's having lost both of mine in just over a year. There are no words to tell you how unfair this seems to me, but I guess there is no good time frame within which to lose the people you love.

So, that's what happened in my week. Every day since Saturday has been a case of going about my normal everyday business but not really being there, staring into space a lot, and trying in vain to read Shakespeare (dude is HARD to read when you have no motivation and the sads). I'm hanging in there and being a trooper and all those other things one does, and it is the hardest thing ever. I'm trying to have these kind of feelings:
But mostly I'm feeling a lot more bitter than that. Lucky is so not how I'm feeling right now, but hopefully I'll get there in the end.

Life is pretty hard, you guys.

12 comments:

  1. Oh Laura :-( I'm so so sorry for your loss,massive hugs from me and baby squidges from the boys xx

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  2. I'm so sorry, Laura. I wish you had at least gotten to say goodbye. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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  3. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family xxxx

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  4. I'm so sorry, and thinking of you & your family. xx

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  5. Oh Laura I'm so sorry ;( I hope that you and your family are coping okay, and I think you should be really proud of yourself for managing to carry on doing the things that you have to do, because that is one of the hardest things when something like this happens.

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  6. There's not a lot I can say that will actually make it hurt any less, but I'm thinking of you anyway xx

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  7. Oh, Laura. I'm late to your post here, but that doesn't make me any less sorry to read your news. What a tough year you've had, losing those two amazing women in your life. *hugs*

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  8. :( That's rough Laura, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and the rest of your family right now *hugs you so tight your eyes pop out a little*

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  9. Aw Laura, I'm so so sorry to hear that! That's so much to go through. I've sending you all my good thoughts and feelings. (((hugs)))

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  10. Oh no. So, so sorry to hear this.

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  11. Oh sweet Laura! I'm just catching up with feedly and saw this news of yours. I'm so so so sorry for your loss of Nana. Big big big hugs.

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