Well, I have been having one, and it's been bumming me out hard. I could tell you all about it, but I feel like I've already been using this blog to complain too much rather than for it's actual purpose lately, which I'm not saying anyone minds but, you know, I mind. Let's just say, there's been some work stuff going on, and on Thursday we scattered my nan's ashes, and the two kind of met in the middle and made me a big, weepy mess for most of the week.
It hasn't been pretty.
But, you know, life isn't always pretty, and my life especially isn't, and instead of dwelling on all the shit I'm trying to be like this:
to myself, rather than this:
So let's talk about some of the nicer parts of this week, shall we? On Wednesday, I was very much a weepy mess (the work crap mainly happened on Tuesday, and the ashes was forthcoming on Thursday, so that was literally meeting in the middle) and then I went to my Shakespeare seminar and actually came out feeling so much happier. I don't know whether it was just because I had something to focus my mind on, but I felt like it was the first time I'd really and truly enjoyed Shakespeare since my nan died (which then made me sad that I only have 4 [!!!!!!!!] lessons left). It was quite a nice reminder of why I'm doing this, really.
Saturday was my auntie's 50th birthday party, which was awesome because can we talk about free bars? They're pretty great. So great I had to have over a 2 hour nap this afternoon, and seriously, I'm really bad at napping! Hangovers are nasty. And then today is Mother's Day over here, which is bittersweet because I love to celebrate my mum (she is kind of amazing) but at the same time, there's all this nan stuff around and obviously I'm reminded that last year I still had one nan... The year before I had two... It's pretty raw.
So, I'm pretty sure what I've just established is that even within the good stuff, there's some sad stuff too. Hence all of this weeks crying. To a way lesser degree, I'm really sad that, in spite of my best intentions, I've just completely missed the Villette redialing, and I can't even read anyone's posts because even though I have read it before, I don't remember a thing about it. But I'm sure everyone taking part is having an awesome time (I feel like everyone I know on the internet is either doing that or the War and Peace readalong and I'm just over here doing the Shakespeare challenge by myself! [not that I read Antony and Cleopatra this week... Shhh...])
Oh YEAH, speaking of Shakespeare, as I am wont to do, it's the Ides of March today, which in the past has genuinely made me go "I need to read some Shakespeare today" like it's anything to do with him rather than, you know, Caesar. Just a little history of this on the blog: I remember the first year I was blogging, I thought it was the Ides of May (I think I was thinking of 'wind shakes the darling buds of May'...) and I missed it, so since then I made a bit of an effort to read some Shakespeare on this day- three years ago it was actually Julius Caesar, two years ago it was Cymbeline, and last year, timehop tells me I was starting to read King Lear, which is hilarious since I remember giving up on it because I wasn't enjoying it, and guess what I had to study for ten weeks at the end of last year? Oh yeah.
Anyway, this year I'm technically reading Pericles, which seems to be about incest and not much else, but also I haven't reaaaally been reading Shakespeare today, because he does not meld well with hangovers (just like last weekend he didn't meld well with tonsillitis). I might watch a film version of The Tempest in a bit, which is a legit thing I have to do this week, so that counts as working. In alternative book news, I've nearly finished reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (again) which makes me feel like I should basically have just been reading Harry Potter alongside Shakespeare all this time to help me through; and this week I also finished Watchmen, which I will review at some point but let me just save you the reading time and tell you to read it now. It's pretty amazing.
Annnnnd I am pretty much done telling you things. I'm going to try really hard to leave this last week in the past where it belongs, and move on to better times that I have to carry on believing are still coming because what else is there to think? I hope you all have wonderful weeks too.