Thursday 16 February 2012

If I'm Not Here, This is Where I'll Be

The interesting thing about blogging (at least about book blogging) is that you can feel like you're amazing friends with people, even while you're being able to withhold the biggest things that are happening in your real life. It's a weird relationship, sometimes restrictive and sometimes wonderful, but mostly, at least lately, I've been feeling kind of uncomfortable about withholding information- whilst also feeling like I could use some support from the place where I sometimes feel most at home.

So, here's the deal, and here's my attempt at opening up to some things (ok, one thing) that's happening in my real life. So, three days after Christmas (nice), my mum announced that she'd been to the doctor because she found a lump in her boob, and he referred her to the hospital. Fast forward about 3 weeks, and I'm sitting in a surgeon's office with her while he's telling her that she has breast cancer. Today she's having a lumpectomy and some lymph nodes removed, and her prognosis is very good.

But. It's still scary, and horrible, and I don't really know what to do with myself while all this is going on. Reading is pretty difficult, because it's hard to fully detach myself from what's happening in the real world and just escape into book world, and now I'm going to be taking over household duties while my mum's recovering from her operation. Which I'm fine with, and I don't mind at all, but at the same time, I think I need to try to carry on blogging and expressing myself in that way, because otherwise I might just cook the dinner, hoover, and then sit in a corner rocking for the rest of the day. That's, you know, the optimistic view for the next few weeks!

So. There will be less book reviews, at least for a while (and believe me, this isn't an apology about that because, you know, I gotta do what I gotta do) but I'm thinking that I might start doing weekly updates of my life in the real world- an opportunity to vent about what my real world life has been like for the week, and just an opportunity to kind of decompress from it all. At the moment I think that's something I need to do, but I could just as easily decide that I don't want to go into the potentially miserable reality of my life, and then we'll just never speak of this again. We'll see.

So. That's what's going on with me. Sadly this isn't the first time one of my parents has had cancer, so I'd like to think I'm slightly more prepared to deal then someone who's never gone through it before, and so far that's kind of looking like it's true- I'm definitely a lot more mature than the last time around, and having gone to pretty much all of my mum's hospital appointments with her (cancer? Mainly involves a lot of hospital appointments and people talking and stuff), it definitely takes away some of the scariness and makes it all seem slightly, well boring. But it's still plenty scary, especially today. My mum has been completely amazing so far, and I think that really has a calming effect on everyone else- we see that she's not freaking out about it, and so it would be foolish for us to freak out! There are already 2 cancer survivors in my immediate family, and we're well on the way to having family member number 3 kick cancer in its stupid arse.

So... What's new with everyone else?


  1. Oh Laura, I'm sending all my thoughts and wishes to you and your family!

    I'm not sure what I can say that won't come out all awkward and cheesy, but I'm only an email or tweet away, and even if I'm not particularly good at the speaking part, I'm not bad at the listening stuff. I'm sure you've got plenty of friends and family with you that can do all of that, but if you want to hear about Australian weather or something equally silly but distracting then I'm here. xo

  2. I wasn't sure whether to comment or not, because this is a very personal post, and since we've only really just started being bloggery friends, I didn't want to intrude.

    But then I couldn't NOT post a message of support when it sounds like you're coping so well, so I hope you don't mind.

    My absolute best wishes to your Mum, but it sounds like she's being amazingly strong regardless :)

  3. I'm so sorry. You and your mom are in my thoughts! Kick cancer's ass, that asshole.

    I do like the idea of a weekly update with what's going on outside of books, baking and movies. Like you said, you get to know people really well through blogging, but they only know what part of you. I like the idea of learning more.

  4. *hugs* That's excellent about the prognosis. I know it's stressful even if the parent is doing well with it, though, so prayers for your family from me.

  5. Oh dear what a terrible thing to have to go through. Sounds like you are all in good hands, though.

    All the best you and your mum.

  6. I'm so sorry about your mom, hon. I know how hard it is when a parent is sick. *hugs*

  7. Oh no, that's awful! i'm so sorry! At the same time I'm impressed how well you all seem to handle it though. All the best to your mum and of course the whole family!

  8. That's an awful situation to go through. I've had several family members who have had cancer. But I'm glad that your mom's prognosis is good and that she's being such a trooper.

    If you need anything you can always email. Sending lots of happy thoughts your way.

  9. That's really terrible Laura, I'm so so sorry and definitely sending you and your family good wishes and positive vibes. I'm so glad to hear that her prognosis is good and I hope your mom gets better.

    Oh and I totally support weekly updates, or whatever. Personal posts are great and we all love to learn more about each other.

  10. You are a warrior princess. Keep being awesome and supportive for your mom, and vent to us whenever you need to. We will be your interwebs therapists.

    1. holy cow! i'm sorry to hear about what's been happening in your Real Life, but your mom sounds great and I'm wishing your whole family the very best the universe has to offer. I think it's great when bloggers include personal information so that their readers can get to know them better, even when it's rough times. So please keep us posted about how things are going.

  11. *hugs* That's a tough thing you got going on in your life Laura. Stay strong girl.

  12. Sending many positive thoughts your way.